


Genital Blues

by awesomerosie



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Cracky, Demons, Established Relationship, Fem!Nolan, Fluff, Gay Smut, Genderswap, Hetero smut, M/M, Misunderstandings, Other, Semi-detailed description of female anatomy, Sexual Content, Talk of death and the afterlife, The usual anxiety and angst that comes from Nolan's troubled mind, This became a much more serious story than I intended.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2019-05-04 04:32:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 30,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14585028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awesomerosie/pseuds/awesomerosie
Summary: Nolan's body goes full-on girl mode and somehow that's still not the worst part of this situation.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Why do I keep messing with men's anatomy you ask?
> 
> Because it's fucking fun. >:D

Nolan's chest hurt. It was a weird hurt focused mainly in the center of his chest, his left nipple, and at the base of his throat, though that was more of a choking feeling.

He extracted his head from under his pillow and rolled onto his back. The hurt lessened, leaving a sore line down his sternum.

Was he ill? Illness can cause weird pains and oversensitivity, right? Nolan was afraid of opening his eyes for fear of finding some open wound he forgot about. He cracked one open a smidge, glancing down at himself.

He wasn't bleeding. He did, however, have two odd lumps on his chest. His shirt strained with the effort of keeping them in.

For a moment he thought his dogs had managed to shrink and weasel themselves in there, but when the air-conditioner started and his nipples perked on top of the weird lumps he knew something even weirder was going on.

He sat up and grasped the hem of his shirt, pulling it up slowly, gasping in relief when it came off and he could breathe properly again.

He felt them hanging. He feared doing anything other than breathing. Really he was afraid to breathe too, but his fear of dying outweighed whatever the hell this shit was.

His gaze finally drifted from the ceiling to the mirror across his room. His face fell in horror. Large, flopping, boob-like boobs sat innocently attached to his chest. He turned sideways, annoyance slowly replacing the abject horror in his mind. They weren't even perky boobs. From the side, they looked almost triangular. Somehow he had lost the boob lottery without realising he had a ticket.

What was he supposed to do with them? He had a lunch date with Brett today too! None of his clothes were going to fit, and even if they did everyone and their blind dog could see something was wrong with him.

Nolan stood, cringing when the quick movement made them jiggle. He grabbed his phone from the nightstand and walked with as little bounce as he could to his door. The door creaked as he opened it slightly. He peered out, half-expecting to be accosted immediately.

No one was there, not even a dog. He breathed a sigh of relief and sped the four feet it took to get to the bathroom.

He yanked his sleep pants off, freezing with them halfway down his thighs. Where did his dick go? Nolan felt like he should be more concerned about this situation, but at the moment he was honestly just confused. His dick was just gone.

The pants dropped to the floor as curiosity got the better of him. Legs spread in an awkward standing-birth imitation, he reached down to feel around. Under his initial inspection, mostly everything was just...fleshier than he was used to, then his finger accidentally dipped in near the front. A tingle of pleasure rushed through him, making his legs tremble. He dragged his finger further into this newly discovered cavern. The flesh got squishier and wetter the further he went, opening up to a strange hole; this too gave him a satisfactory tingle.

A phone buzzing against the floor startled Nolan from his exploration. He jerked his hand away and reached for his phone. His face scrunched into a grimace at the wetness and he switched hands, releasing his phone from its pocket-like prison.

It was a picture message from Brett. One of him in bed, shirtless, hair ruffled against the pillow, and that dazzling smirk on full display, with a “Good Morning Gorgeous” splayed across the bottom in gold lettering.

Nolan quietly thanked past-Nolan for being too scared to send pictures back most of the time. He sent a “Morning,” with a panda at the end. He still didn’t understand how emojis worked, but the animal ones were his favorite.

He set his phone on the counter, stepping into the bathtub. Everything was fine until he got to his nether regions. How does one go about cleaning a vagina? Should he stick the washcloth up there or would that be bad for it? He stood in the shower spray for far too long trying to figure it out. Eventually, he gave up and lifted one leg, letting the water flow between them, hoping that would be enough.

With a towel wrapped tightly around his chest, Nolan crept back into his room and began sifting through his dresser. Why did he own such close-fitting clothes? His choices were to wear a tight one and hope the boobs don’t tear it open or suffocate him, or go with the super ratty sweatshirt from his middle school.

In an act of desperation, he glanced around his room. His eyes landed on the sweatshirt Brett left on his desk chair. Perfect. He could wear one of the less tight shirts to keep the boobs in place and then cover up their entire existence with the sweatshirt. It was a brilliant plan.

\---

Nolan made it to the cafe without incident. He was a bit more winded than he would have been when walking twelve blocks, but all in all not too bad. He could still mostly breathe and the boobs were still in place, which were the only things that mattered.

Nolan walked into the little cafe only half ready for what was to come. He had come to terms with whatever the hell his body was doing, marking it down as either a delayed reaction to his wish to just become an actual girl when he was getting bullied in school for being too pretty or some weird supernatural thing that he still didn’t quite understand.

Brett smiled at him as he approached, smelling him through the fog of espresso and syrups. His bright expression changed to one of confusion as Nolan got closer. He sniffed more deeply as Nolan sat on the bench across from him. “Did you change shampoos?”

“No…?” Nolan replied, lifting the sweatshirt to smell himself. “I don’t smell anything. Why do you ask?”

“Huh. You’re just sweeter than usual.” Brett pushed one of the cups on the table over to Nolan. “How's university going?”

“It's cool. I found a spot in the library where no one goes, so I can be alone even when my roommate is home. Oh and! I really like the English professor, she's amazing.” Nolan played with the lid of his cup, pausing before he blurted out that he had gotten so overwhelmed by homework and new people that he had flipped out at his roommate and the few friends he made, and now none of them will talk to him. He settled back in his seat. “It's hard being away from everyone.”

Nolan would never get used to the soft look on Brett's face. It felt like Brett could see straight through him. Like he already knew all the fears and doubts in Nolan’s mind. Like he knew every shitty thing Nolan had ever done and had forgiven him for them and everything he would do in the future. It was both endearing and unnerving.

He had to look away, down at the hand covering his on the table. He felt extra emotional for some reason, and not in a borderline losing his mind kind of way, like usual. Maybe the change of his body messed with his brain too? That would be just his luck.

“I missed you,” Nolan said finally, after a too long period of silence.

“Why are you sitting over there then?”

Nolan moved without thinking, settling onto the other bench, Brett’s arm resting behind him. Brett pulled his face close, drawing him in with lazy kisses. Nolan pressed onward, deepening the kiss with licks into Brett’s mouth. He shifted to climb into Brett’s lap but was quickly stopped by a hand on his chest. Nolan whined low in his throat, pouting up at Brett.

“Not here,” was all Brett said before pushing Nolan out of the booth.

\---

Mouths and hands roamed as Brett walked Nolan backward to the bedroom. He pushed Nolan onto the bed, sliding between his spread legs, the sweet smells of Nolan and arousal filling his nose. He sucked at Nolan’s neck and thrust forward, eliciting a gasp. Brett froze. That was not what that usually felt like.

Brett pressed kisses up the side of Nolan’s face until he could see him properly. “Are you not enjoying this?”

“Huh?” Nolan opened his eyes, gaze unfocused. His answer came out breathlessly, "I am.”

“You’re not hard.”

Nolan’s eyes shot open. There was definitely something wrong.

Nolan pushed Brett off, moving up to lean against the headboard, curling in on himself. Brett reached for him, immediately retracting his hand when Nolan flinched away.

“I forgot,” Nolan said slowly, “I wasn’t going to let you touch me.”

“Why? Did something happen?” Brett’s mind showed him every terrible thing that could have possibly happened, his wolf growing angrier with every conjured image.

“Not exactly…?” Nolan’s eyes flitted in that way that meant his mind was moving too fast to form coherent sentences. “I don’t...I don’t have a dick anymore.”

All the anger fell away from Brett's being, quickly being replaced by a coil of confusion in his gut. “Like, you had a sex change?”

“Kind of?” Nolan looked up at him finally, guilt evident in his eyes. “I’m sorry, I should have said something at the cafe.”

“No, it’s alright,” Brett said, rubbing a hand up Nolan shin soothingly. “I’m just having trouble understanding. Your dick’s gone, but you didn’t do it?”

“Yeah, I just woke up like this.”

“And you weren’t going to tell me because?”

Nolan stared at the bedsheets again. “Because I didn’t want to weird you out with my vagina.”

Brett snorted, keeling over with giggles. He knew he shouldn’t laugh - Nolan was having a crisis - he just couldn’t help it.

“What?!” Nolan complained, kicking Brett in the side. “What’s so fucking funny?!”

“Oh Nolan,” Brett chuckled, straightening up and cupping Nolan’s face in his hands. “My dearest, darlingest Nolan, I’m bisexual.” The shocked look on Nolan’s face nearly sent Brett into another fit of giggles. “I’m fairly sure I told you that early on in our relationship.”

Nolan whispered, “I forgot.” A sly grin formed on his face. “Does that mean we can get back to fucking?”

“No.” Nolan's face fell, and Brett stroked a thumb against his cheekbone consolingly. “Not yet. We need condoms first.”

“Ah.”

Brett pulled away, stepping off the bed, and holding a hand out to help Nolan up. “Do you have tits too? Is that why you’re wearing my sweatshirt on such a hot day?”

“Yes,” Nolan replied standing. “Let’s make this quick, they’re suffocating.”

“We can’t have that, now can we?” Brett ushered Nolan out of the house. “I'm perfectly fine with you going topless for the rest of summer.”

It was Nolan’s turn to snort. “And have you leer at me all day? Not happening, buddy.”

“But you’re going to show me them, right?” Brett didn’t bother trying to keep the excitement out of his voice.

“Yeah, of course, I’m not going to have sex while enduring this tight t-shirt torture.”

Brett grinned, taking Nolan’s hand. As much as they acted like they were in a hurry the walk to the nearest shop was leisurely, fully content to just be in each other’s presence. Brett knew that even if he wasn’t bisexual he would still stay with Nolan. He cared about him too much to leave now.


	2. Lasting Damage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Maraudersourwolf and Casy who encouraged me to continue this.
> 
> It took me 4 days to finish this smut scene. Which is at least double the amount of time it took to write any of my gay smut scenes. Which in turn is ironic since I am a female person. But also, I discovered that I don't find any of the words for vaginas sexy so that made everything harder.
> 
> Anyway! This is far too much fun to write and the doc is over 8K words already. I actually have an ending too, which is not how I usually write things. So everything is going well and I hope to finish this before the end of the world. :D

Brett kissed up Nolan’s neck, sucking on the spot under his ear. Hands roamed over sensitive skin. Brett moved down Nolan's body, smothering his face in his bosom, grinning like a madman.

Nolan found himself unable to stop a grin of his own. “You really like those, huh?”

Brett kissed the side of each one. “I missed these.” He sucked at a nipple, pulling the flesh taut.

Pleasant tingles flowed down Nolan’s body, settling between his legs. Brett continued moving, kissing and biting his way down Nolan's stomach. It felt weird when he kissed the patch of hair where his dick used to be. It was like he was missing a piece of himself.

All thought left his mind when Brett lifted his legs and shoved his face into the space between them. He licked at that little nub of pleasure like a master, licking and swirling, and this super fast side to side thing that made Nolan's legs twitch. Heat coiled in the depths of Nolan's stomach. His legs tensed against Brett's strong hold.

Nolan reached down, gripping Brett's hair tightly. “Stop, I'm gonna come!”

Brett kept going. He lavished it with attention until Nolan was a shuddering, moaning mess.

The orgasm washed through him like a freight train jumping the rails. He moaned, eyes rolling into the back of his head. His legs pushed, hips jerked, and his back arched off the bed. His whole body trembled as he came down.

Bret pulled away, pressing a kiss to Nolan’s inner thigh. “Feel good?” he asked, easing Nolan's legs back down to the bed.

Nolan’s limbs felt like they were filled with lead. “Fuck yes. You’re fucking amazing.” He dragged Brett up by the hair, smashing his lips against the smug smirk plastered on his face.

Brett nipped along Nolan’s jaw. “Ready for the next one?”

“There's a next one?!” Nolan asked exasperatedly. “I didn't realise this was a multistage process.”

"We did go all the way to the store for condoms.”

Nolan sighed, nodding his head. “It would be a shame if we didn't put them to good use.”

“And what better use than fucking you senseless?”

“Aww man, I thought they were weird shaped water balloons.”

Brett pushed up on his elbows to stare at Nolan incredulously. “You’re joking, right?”

Nolan snorted. “Of course I’m joking. Fuck me, Brett. Fuck me so hard I change back into a man!”

Brett made a disturbed face as he reached for the condoms next to Nolan's head. “Please don't change back while I'm fucking you. I don't want to know what would happen to my dick.”

“Oh ew. Nope, not gonna think about that.”

Brett stroked his cock a few times before rolling the condom on. He lined himself up but was stopped by a hand on his chest. He turned questioning eyes on Nolan's face.

“Don't you have to prep me or something?”

“Not usually…?” Brett must have seen the worry in Nolan's expression because he leaned down and pressed him into a gentle kiss. “I can if you want.”

“No.” Nolan took a deep breath. “I trust you.”

Nolan wrapped his arms around Brett's shoulders as he began his excruciatingly slow descent. The stretch was easier than he expected. He had to keep himself from clenching up, but he had plenty of practice with that.

Brett stopped fully sheathed, looking up at Nolan for permission. Nolan drew in a sharp breath, relaxing just a little bit more before nodding. Brett sucked at his neck, pulling out a little faster than he had gone in. He thrust forward at the same speed, sending tiny shockwaves through Nolan's body. Brett built a steady rhythm, just slow enough to irritate Nolan.

“Alright Gramps, can we get those hips moving, please?”

A puff of air and a nip at his jaw was all the warning Nolan got before Brett snapped his hips forward.

Nolan groaned. “Now we're talking!”

Brett pounded into him with vigor, Nolan's boobs jiggling with each strike. Nolan wrapped his legs around Brett's hips, holding on for dear life. Brett ground down, and Nolan felt more full than ever before. 

Brett fucked in a pattern of deep, mind-bending thrusts, and shallow, toe-curling rolls of his hips. Instinct drove Nolan’s hips up to meet him, seeking the waves of pleasure that came with every movement.

Warm breath puffed against Nolan's neck. Every grunt and moan in his ear sent him closer to the edge.

Nolan dug his fingertips into Brett’s back, nails scraping as a sheen of sweat made him lose his grip.

The thrusts became more erratic. Brett grappled at Nolan’s hip one-handed, trying to push deeper, faster, harder.

Release was so close Nolan could almost taste it. He needed it, but he just couldn’t get over the edge. Nolan stuck his hand between them, rolling his new best friend around with his fingers. With a few more thrusts, the orgasm bubble popped and Nolan was suddenly floating on air. His vagina pulsed around the cock still pounding into him, dragging Brett with him into the wonderful world of orgasmic bliss.

Brett collapsed on top of Nolan, pressing kisses to his neck. They stayed there for several minutes, riding through the last of the high. Brett’s thumb rubbed soothingly over the bruised skin of Nolan’s hip, not-so-secretly pleased with himself for marking his lover.

Nolan’s fingers scratched through Brett’s short, sweaty hair, stifling a yawn. “I feel sticky.”

Brett chuckled against him. “Would you like me to do something about that, Princess?”

“If you wouldn't mind…”

“As you wish.” Brett pulled out with a grunt and disposed of the condom in the wastebasket near the door on his way to the bathroom.

Nolan stretched out on the bed, loosening his stiff limbs. Sated and ready for sleep, he had to force himself to keep his eyes open.

Brett came back in the room cleaned up and holding a wet washcloth. He handed the cloth to Nolan and stood at the end of the bed waiting.

Nolan stared at the cloth considering. “Do you know how to wash a vagina?” He looked up to see the bewilderment on Brett's face.

“Uhh, no. The girls I slept with took care of that themselves.”

“Damn.”

“Wipe it like you do your ass, just don't go in the actual vagina part, and I think you’ll be good?”

Nolan tried it. He wasn't sure if it was right, but he was definitely less sticky. He folded the cloth over, wiping down his legs as well. The vagina was convenient for sex, but not for clean up.

He handed the cloth back to Brett with a cheeky grin. Brett narrowed his eyes but took it anyway.

“Thank you!”

Brett went back to the bathroom, and Nolan made himself comfortable under the covers. 

Soon enough Brett crawled into the bed, and Nolan rolled onto his side to snuggle in, tucking his head under Brett's chin.

He should have known he had nothing to worry about. Brett was wonderful. Best reunion ever.

\---

Nolan woke wrapped up in warmth. He shifted forward, snuggling further into the firm body in front of him. A sharp tug on the skin of his chest jerked him into wakefulness. He hissed at the sensation, lifting his chest to relieve it. A heavy sigh left his lungs, making the affected area jiggle. The boobs were still there. He had laid in such a way that one of the boobs got caught between his arm and his ribcage, a thing that apparently could happen when your flesh hung off your body. How the hell did girls sleep when any movement could cause searing pain?

Nolan moved back, rubbing at the painful areas and moving the flesh to check for actual injuries. The pain dissipated, leaving him annoyed and more awake than he wanted to be at eight in the morning during summer break.

Brett shifted in his sleep, hand dragging down from Nolan’s waist to the curve of his ass.

Tingles lazily trailed their way through Nolan’s body. Instinctually, he rolled his hips forward, searching for friction. He startled when he just rolled onto his face, a snort sounding at his side.

“You weren’t asleep, were you?” Nolan asked accusingly, flipping onto his back where it was safer.

Brett leaned forward, pressing his lips gently against Nolan’s temple. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Your fantastic faceplant is what woke me up.”

Nolan rolled his eyes. “Thanks, I tried hard.”

They lapsed back into silence, content with just being together. Brett's hand smoothed over Nolan's hips and stomach in random patterns, the soothing motion teetering Nolan back to the edges of sleep.

“I think you gained weight while you were gone.”

Nolan cracked an eye open. Brett was watching as his hand pushed around the slight pudge on his abdomen.

“I haven't been working out as much. Is that a bad thing?” Nolan was proud of himself for making it sound overconfident instead of overly anxious like he was feeling.

“No, it's cute.”

“Ah, cute. Would it still be cute if I turned back into a man?” His tone started indignant then petered off into regret. He refused to look at Brett, already knowing the face he was making.

Brett brushed his hand up the length of Nolan's chest, carefully going between the boobs, and pulled Nolan's face toward him. “Hey, I love you. I love the you that's in your soul, not the body you inhabit. You could be man, woman, something in between, or missing sex organs all together and I would still love you.”

Instead of answering with words, because he knew he would never manage to get them out, Nolan launched himself at Brett, knocking him onto his back, and climbing half on top of him. He smothered Brett in kisses, fingers tangling in his hair. Nolan bore down, pressing his thigh against Brett's hardening cock. He pulled away teasingly, leaving them both panting into the empty space.

A lazy grin grew on Brett's face. “Was that your way of saying you love me too or are you distracting me with sex?”

“Both,” Nolan mumbled, dipping back in.

Brett moaned into the kiss. He pulled away to press a kiss to Nolan’s nose. "Sounds good to me."

\---

Nolan walked out of the bathroom in one of Brett’s shirts. The extra fabric billowed out around him, making him look small and vulnerable. Brett wasn’t even that much bigger around than Nolan was, but because of his super long torso, the shirt stopped halfway down Nolan’s thighs, even with the boobs hiking it up a bit.

He was glad Brett had his own place now. It was a tiny one bed with rooms just longer than Brett was tall, but it was quiet and free of annoying siblings.

Brett was standing at the counter, stirring a skillet of scrambled eggs. The smell of onion and jalapeños lingered in the air. Nolan curled his arms around his waist, resting his forehead against the nape of his neck.

Brett spoke low, not wanting to ruin the mood, “I have to go to the station later, do you want to come?”

“You’ve never introduced me to you firefighter buddies before.”

Brett dumped the eggs into a bowl. “I didn’t know we could have family visit the station.”

Nolan grinned at his back. “So I’m family now?”

Brett picked the toast out of the toaster, setting it on a plate. “You can be,” he said, wandering over to the table against the opposite wall.

Nolan followed, sitting in the other chair. He picked up a piece of toast and nibbled on it.

How could he say stuff like that so casually? Nolan had enough trouble telling people what hobbies he enjoyed.

Did he want to be part of Brett's family? He hadn't really thought about it before. It was such a big step. Boyfriends is easy. Boyfriends you can break off at any point, and yeah it would hurt, but they would both get over it. But family you can't just break apart. When a family breaks up it leaves a hole in your heart. Especially since Brett had so little family left.

It was a scary idea, but also, Nolan couldn't think of a future without him. He wanted to spend every day with Brett. He wanted to celebrate birthdays and anniversaries. Take him to family reunions and annoy his grandparents. He wanted to be the old married couple of the family, inviting all their siblings over for pizza and video games on Sunday nights.

“Don't over think it,” Brett said quietly. “You don't have to. Forget I said anything.” He stood, already finished with breakfast.

“No!”

Nolan reached over the table, nearly knocking over Brett's cup, and wrapped his fingers around Brett's wrist. Brett looked at it with the saddest face Nolan had ever seen him make.

“Wait. I was just thinking it through.”

Brett sat back down, twisting his arm so he could grasp Nolan's wrist as well. His thumb stroked over the little stuck-out knob of bone on the outside edge as Nolan got his thoughts together.

“This is a lot for my anxiety to process. I lo-” Nolan choked on the word. He huffed, annoyed that he couldn't make the words form without sounding insincere. He stared at their hands to try and make it easier. “I...love...you. I really do.” He glanced back up at Brett's face, the softened gaze boosting his confidence. “I hate that I can't say it, but I need you to know that I do. You do so much for me, and I would probably die if you weren't here next to me.”

A small smile crept onto Brett's face. He lifted their joined hands to kiss the back of Nolan's. “You don't have to tell me, I can smell it on you.”

Nolan's mouth dropped open. “Oh, you asshole!” He slapped Brett lightly with his fingers before retracting his hand. He pouted, crossing his arms over his chest defensively. “You just did that to torture me!”

“You can't do anything if you don't try.” Brett stood, leaning over the table to kiss away Nolan's pout. He grinned, pulling away. “I love you.”

“Yeah, yeah, ya big sap.” Nolan couldn't stop himself from smiling. He ducked his head to hide it, grabbing the egg bowl to distract himself with eating. “These eggs are cold.”

Brett started stacking the used dishes. “I didn't make you spend ten minutes inside your own head."

“Actually, you kinda did.”

Brett clasped his hands behind his back, bowing slightly, eyes focused on Nolan's collar, a tiny smirk on his lips. “Would you like me to make more, Your Highness?”

Nolan giggled, shaking his head. “You're ridiculous. Go shower. I'll do the dishes.”

\---

Brett looked fantastic. Skinny jeans nestled perfectly over his beautifully sculpted ass. Tight shirt stretched over defined muscle with the firefighter logo sitting over his left pec. Honestly, it should be illegal to look that good in just jeans and a t-shirt.

Brett greeted everyone as they walked into the station. He knew everyone by name. He never failed to amaze Nolan with how great of a guy he was. It baffled Nolan that such a fantastic individual would pick him of all people.

They headed upstairs to a room that looked more like a dorm common room than a fire station. Couches surrounded a television on one side of the room, a full kitchen on the other, and a long rectangular table sat in the middle. Large windows on the long wall lit everything up nicely.

There were a few people already there scattered about. They all looked up when Brett and Nolan walked in.

A burly white guy at the table grinned at them. “Hey Bretty, who’s your friend?”

Brett threw his arm around Nolan’s shoulders. “Guys, this is my boyfriend Nolan. Nolan, this is Harvey.” He pointed to the burly white guy. “Pete.” A darker skinned guy with curly brown hair at the table playing cards with Harvey. “And Ashley.” A black woman on the couch. “Ash is human. Pete’s a werewolf. And Harvey’s a douchebag.”

Harvey snorted a laugh. “Fuck you too, Bretty.”

They were all ridiculously muscled. As they should be he supposed. Nolan smiled and waved, to which the others waved back. Brett pulled Nolan by the hand over to one of the unoccupied couches, plopping down on the end. Nolan sat next to him, probably closer than he really needed to be, but Brett didn’t seem to mind.

People made Nolan nervous. People who could practically rip him apart with their pinkie fingers made him more nervous. He knew the werewolves could smell it because Pete scrunched his nose up, and Brett’s arm came around him again.

Brett leaned in close, whispering low enough that only Nolan and Pete could hear, “You’re okay. We’re all firefighters, remember? Here to help, not maim.”

Nolan chanted that sentence in his head like a mantra. He relaxed into Brett more, turning to look at the television. It was playing some terrible movie about sharks in a tornado or something. The stupid storyline and shitty effects were ridiculous enough to put Nolan at ease. Or at least enough to start up a conversation during the commercial break. “Is this what you guys do all day?”

Brett pursed his lips in thought. “Besides going out on calls, sometimes we work out, or run drills, but yeah, mostly we sit around and wait for something to happen.”

“Huh. Seems boring.”

“But,” Ashley interrupted excitedly, “when something does happen we get the adrenaline rush that comes with running into a burning building!”

“That does not sound fun.”

“Yeah?” Harvey turned to them, leaning his elbows on his knees. “What does sound fun to you, Honey?”

Brett growled low in his chest.

Pete finally spoke, his voice was clear and soothing, “Back off, man.”

“Nah, I just asked Pretty Boy a question. Are we not allowed to ask the kid questions?”

“I got this, guys, I'm an adult.” Nolan imitated Harvey's posture, a mischievous grin on his face. “I enjoy piña coladas, long walks on the beach, and having wild, raucous sex with my super hot, werewolf boyfriend. What do you enjoy, Darling?”

Harvey stared at him dumbfounded for a moment before breaking out into hearty laughter. “Yo Bretty, I like this one! You should keep him around!”

Brett glanced at Nolan with a fond smile. “I plan to.”

Nolan shifted, uncomfortable being surrounded by strangers in this suddenly sweet atmosphere. “Where’s the restroom?”

\---

He was going insane. He was actually, honest to God, going insane. His innocent wipe after using the toilet had resulted in red shit that must have come out of him. It can't be from the sex because he would have noticed it this morning. If it wasn't that, then what the fuck was wrong with him?

“Hey Brett, can you come here please?”

It took a moment for Brett to come in the door. He came to a stop in front of the only occupied stall. “What's up?”

“I'm dying.”

“What? How?”

“I'm bleeding.”

“Can you just open the door so I can take a look?” The tone of Brett's voice was somewhere between concerned and exasperated.

Nolan opened the stall door with his pants around his ankles and shirts hiked up around his middle. He held the toilet paper out in front of him. “My vagina is bleeding. My organs are shutting down and soon I'll be dead.”

Brett sighed, scrubbing a hand down his face.“Don't you have a sister? How do you have zero knowledge of female anatomy?” Nolan pouted up at him and he continued, “You're not dying. I think you started your period.”

“I- What? Fucking, how?!” Nolan looked down at the paper like it had ruined his life forever. He dropped it in the toilet, hit the flush, and fixed his clothes. He whisper-shouted on his way to the sink, “I shouldn't have a working uterus!”

“You shouldn't have a lot of things, but you do, and now I'm really glad we got condoms last night.”

The bell on the wall began to ring, the noise shrill and grating.

Brett swore under his breath. “I'm sorry, I have to go. Go home, find a tampon or something. I'll text you after work.” He leaned in for a quick kiss goodbye and charged out the door.

And thus Nolan was left alone with his thoughts. Television had taught him that periods involved a lot of chocolate and buckets of ice cream, and boyfriends who do whatever you say. If it was just that and a bit of blood he could be perfectly okay with this. Well, mostly. Blood brought back bad memories, but he would be fine.


	3. The Change Back

At home, Nolan was met with a pair of knowing grins. His mom, his little sister, Dani, and their husky, Oliver, were on the couch, presumably watching tv before he came in.

“How fun with your boy-toy?” Dani asked, looking particularly pleased with herself.

Nolan sighed, kicking his shoes into the pile in the corner. “His name is Brett, and he's not my boy-toy. If anything I'm the boy-toy because he at least has a job.” He turned away from them to head through the archway to the kitchen. Ice cream first, then tampons, assuming he can figure out where Dani keeps them.

He pulled the carton from the chest freezer and set it on the counter next to Dani's magically appearing elbow. Stupid ninja skills. He rummaged through the drawer for a spoon, yanked the carton lid off, and shoved a large scoop into his mouth.

His mother handed him a napkin and settled onto one of the barstools. “Did something happen or is it just an ice cream from the tub kind of day?”

“It'th an ithe cweam day,” Nolan said through his mouthful.

“Don't hold out on us then, hand over some spoons.”

They chatted about school, boyfriends, and all the hobbies his mother had taken up now that she doesn't have young children to worry about. They made it most of the way through the carton before Nolan excused himself.

He felt like he was leaking. He was leaking and no attempts to clench up helped. If anything, it was making it worse.

He went to the bathroom. His pants looked unaffected, but his underwear was definitely ruined. A giant, red patch of blood sat there mocking him.

He checked the drawers under the sink and found a single tampon and a package of pads. He had no idea what to do with either of them. The pads had instructions, but the tampon didn't even have a box, and he left his phone in the kitchen so he couldn't look it up. That meant the pads were the most obvious choice, but they won't stick if his underwear is wet. Nolan heaved a frustrated sigh. He was going to have to make a run for some new ones. He righted his clothes, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

Trotting across the hallway to him was Lily, his tiny, gold Pomeranian, dragging a pair of his underwear behind her.

He crouched down and ruffled her fur. “Good girl, Lily! How did you know? Gimme a minute and I'll find you a treat, okay?”

Lily sat her fluffy butt outside the door.

The pad was pretty straightforward. Open it up, stick it in, and pretend it's not there. Were they always so thick? It was kind of comforting though because it felt a little bit like his dick was back.

Nolan gazed sadly at his ruined pair. It was one of his nice ones, but into the garbage it went. Blood stains were impossible to get out.

Lily was waiting patiently right where he left her. He got her the treat he promised, and she joined him when he went to his room for a nap.

\---

Brett knocked on the front door of Nolan's house. He had only been here once while the rest of Nolan's family was on vacation without him; by choice, he was told. So basically, he had never met Nolan’s family, and it’s weird to just show up at someone’s house unannounced, but he had texted Nolan three hours ago and hadn’t gotten a response, which usually meant that he was mad for reasons unknown to Brett. He figured that if he came he could figure out if it was actually something he needed to be worried about or if it was just a B.P.D. episode.

Footsteps approached and the door opened to reveal a short, older woman with greying blonde hair. “Hello!” she greeted cheerfully.

“Hi, my name's Brett. I'm your-”

“Son's boyfriend! Come in!” She practically dragged him in the door. “Nolan's upstairs in his room. Do you want a drink, or a snack, or something?”

“Uh, no, thank you.” He smiled politely at her as she waved him away.

Upstairs he ran into a younger woman, with dark hair and a gummy smile. She gasped and checked him out, the way people tended to do. He smiled politely again, planning on just brushing past her into Nolan's room.

“Oh my gosh! You're the boy-toy aren't you?!”

Brett froze. “The what?”

She half-turned toward Nolan’s room, yelling, “Nollie, your boy-toy is here!”

Nolan burst out of his room, screaming, “He’s not my boy-toy!” but it was too late; she had escaped downstairs. He smiled apologetically at Brett. “Sorry, Dani’s an asshole sometimes. I’m fairly sure she’s a demon in disguise.”

“I understand that feeling.” Brett paused, an amused smirk playing on his features. “Boy-toy?”

Nolan raised his hands in defense. “I don’t know where she got it. It makes no sense. I don’t think she knows what the word means.” He lowered his arms, raising a questioning eyebrow. “Why are you here, by the way? I thought you were going to text me.”

“I did. A few times. Three hours ago.”

Nolan’s brow lowered and then pinched together. He turned suddenly, and Brett followed him into his room. Nolan picked his phone up off the bed, scrolling through it. “Shit.” He looked up, sad expression softening Brett’s already gooey heart. “I was playing games and didn’t hear it. I’m sorry.”

“It’s cool,” Brett said, sitting in his desk chair, and spinning toward the monitor. “What were you playing?”

Nolan sat on the end of the bed behind him. Brett could hear the smile in his voice as he said, “Fortnite. I’m terrible, but it’s super addicting.”

They switched off playing until tiny feet pitter-pattered their way to the open bedroom door.

Brett looked out the window from his spot on Nolan’s bed. “It’s dark out.” He glanced down at his phone. “It’s almost one.”

A fluffy, brown dog jumped onto the bed behind him, making herself comfortable next to Nolan’s pillow.

Nolan died in-game once again. He rubbed at his eyes, closing the game. “We should sleep.”

Brett stood, leaning over to kiss Nolan softly, thumb stroking his jawline. “See you tomorrow.”

“You’re not staying?” Nolan looked up at him with those adorable, sad eyes that always made Brett’s resolve teeter.

“I have work, but then I have two straight days to spend with you.” He leaned in for one more kiss, savoring the sweet taste of Nolan. “Tomorrow night, okay?”

Nolan nodded, smiling up at him. “Get home safe.”

\---

Nolan’s stomach hurt. And his hips. And kind of his back and legs too. It was like there were tentacles of pain that started low in his belly and wiggled their way through the rest of his body.

He had curled up on the couch and stared blankly at the television for the past twenty minutes. His family had all gone out of town to see his grandmother. He felt bad for not going, but an hour-long car ride sounded like pure torture right now. Nevertheless, no one else was home and he had to be an adult for once.

Oliver jumped up on the couch, sending a shockwave of pain through Nolan's abdomen.

Nolan whimpered involuntarily and suddenly there was a husky in his face. He patted Oliver's head, gently pushing him away, saying in as soothing a voice as he could manage, “I'm fine, Olly. Lie down. Good boy.” He stroked his fingers through the fur on Oliver's head.

He should go get some medication or something. It would make him feel better. That would require moving though.

He looked down at Oliver. “You can't get me the painkillers can you?”

Oliver cocked his head and then carefully stepped off the couch and headed down the hall. Nolan heard a crash. He winced but didn't have the motivation to go find out what happened.

A moment later Oliver came back with a pill bottle in his mouth. He dropped it on the couch by Nolan's hip.

“Good boy, Olly!” Nolan kissed his head, ruffling his fur. “You're such a good boy!”

\---

Nolan was engulfed as soon as he opened the front door. He wrapped his arms around Brett’s waist, rubbing his back. “Rough day?”

Brett nuzzled into Nolan’s neck, breathing deeply before pulling away. “There was a pileup on the freeway. It didn’t affect me until I was driving home and it dawned on me how easily that could be you.” He looked so lost like he was falling apart. It broke Nolan’s heart.

Nolan reached up to caress Brett’s cheek. “I’m fine.”

“There are just so many things out there that could harm you.”

“Thanks for the anxiety boost,” Nolan said it as a joke but regretted it immediately. Brett looked so apologetic, and Nolan cut him off before he could, “It's fine. I am well aware of all the things that can kill me and I make great efforts to avoid them. The only things that could stop those worries completely are lycanthropy and the sweet release of death.”

“I don't want to lose you to either of those.”

“I know. Which is why I've made a pact with Scott. He has instructions to turn me only if it is ever deemed absolutely necessary.”

Brett pulled him back in, pressing a kiss to Nolan’s temple. “I love you so much.”

Nolan would love to stand in the doorway in Brett’s arms all day, but standing made his stomach hurt. His legs wobbled with the effort it took to hold himself up.

“Are you okay?” Brett asked, pulling away again.

The movement made Nolan’s knees give out finally, and he fell into Brett’s chest, held up by the arms around him. The pain eased as Nolan caught his breath. He looked up at Brett’s frowning face and smiled apologetically.

“You should have said something,” Brett said softly.

Nolan sighed, pushing himself from Brett’s chest. His legs wobbled, but he was able to stay standing. “I didn’t want to worry you more.”

Brett helped him inside, and Nolan practically fell onto the couch, curling in on himself as he detached from Brett’s hold. It hurt worse now that he had felt relief.

“What’s wrong?”

Nolan had his knees pressed to his chest. He looked up at Brett with what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “Just don’t feel good.” That wasn’t the whole truth. He was fairly sure there was something severely wrong. He was unsure how much blood girls lost on their periods, but soaking three thick pads in six hours seemed like a bit much.

Brett still looked concerned. “Do you need anything?”

“Be my heating pad?”

“Of course.”

They spent the rest of the day together, neither wanting to stray far because of the fears lingering in their own minds.

Nolan's family got home after they had gone to bed, making for another successful avoidance.

\---

Nolan woke the next morning lazily. He stretched out on the bed, carefully dodging the two other creatures sharing it with him. It took him a moment, but eventually the overstuffed feeling in his pants caught up to him. He sat up in shock, pulling his pants and underwear away from himself. It was true! His dick was back! It was a little bloody and squashed up against the pad, but it existed!

He turned to Brett, shaking him awake. “I have a dick!”

Brett only squinted at him, not ready for the morning. He mumbled into his pillow, “Good for you, Babe.”

Nolan sighed, “You don’t even care.” Of course, he didn't, Brett liked the female parts. “Fine, I'm going to celebrate on my own.” He swung his legs off the bed, grimaced, and muttered, “After a shower….”

\---

Brett and Nolan had been dating for nearly a year now. Nolan met Lori back in high school at one of their lacrosse games. He didn't make the connection until they ran into her at a cafe downtown. Brett, on the other hand, had never been introduced to Nolan's family. Nolan only kind of orchestrated that on purpose.

That morning, Brett walked into the kitchen of Nolan’s family home, fresh from the shower. He sauntered over to Nolan at the island and pecked him on the cheek, completely unphased by the presence of all the members of Nolan’s family.

“Where’d your shirt go?” Nolan asked exasperated and slightly amused, staring at Brett’s pale, bare chest gleaming in the morning light.

“I left it on the floor last night and your dog peed on it.”

Nolan turned in his chair to stare disapprovingly at the dogs in the corner. “Olly!”

“Nope,” Brett said, stealing a piece of toast off Nolan’s plate, “the other one.”

Nolan gasped. “Lily, no! He’s mine, you attention whore!”

Nolan’s older brother Gus was leaned up against the counter, looking at them like they were crazy. “Lily hasn’t peed on anything in ages.”

“It was definitely her.”

“Did you catch her in the act?”

“No, I could smell it.”

An incredulous look settled itself over Gus’s features. “How the fuck-”

“He’s a werewolf,” Nolan interrupted. He turned back to his now half-empty plate, frowning at Brett. “At least we know she likes you. Maybe it won’t traumatize her when we move out.”

“Wait, you’re bringing the dog with you?” Brett asked surprised.

Nolan nodded.

“How many canines do you need, Babe?”

“Two,” Nolan responded immediately, “you and Lily. Sorry, Olly.”

Oliver made an indifferent sounding huff from his spot on the floor.

Brett sighed, leaning on the back of Nolan’s chair. “We’re going to have to get a bigger place.”

“We’ve got time. I still have three years of university.”

They both turned to the quiet “aww” coming from the breakfast nook. His mother sat there watching them with bright eyes. “They’re so cute!” She leaned across the table, slapping Nolan’s sullen-looking father on the arm. “They’re super cute together, aren’t they, Dear?”

His father’s side of the family was expressly Catholic. His father had come to terms with him being gay, but he was never very happy about it being in his face. His mother, on the other hand, was of the firm belief that if you shove something in someone’s face enough they would eventually get used to seeing it. It was only sort of working.

His father jerked a nod, quickly sticking his head back into the paper he was reading.

Nolan went back to his breakfast...or what was left of his breakfast. A pile of grapes was all that remained on his plate. “You ate all my food!”

“Not all of it," Brett replied indignantly.

“Only because you’re allergic!” Nolan smacked Brett in revenge.

“I’ll take you out for brunch.”

“You don’t have a shirt.”

“Then we stop at my place first.”

“We’ll get distracted there.”

Brett leaned down to press lazy kisses up Nolan’s neck. “So don’t get distracted.”

Nolan pushed his face away, angry stage-whispering, “My family is right there.”

Brett gave a mock-apologetic smile. “Sorry, forgot.”

Nolan threw him his most unimpressed face. He knew Brett hadn’t forgotten. Brett enjoyed pissing off homophobes. Nolan did too, as long as it wasn’t his own dad. Nolan slid off his barstool, grabbed Brett’s hand, and dragged him towards the door, shouting, “I’ll be back tomorrow,” as they left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to end this with smut, but I was having trouble actually writing it. So, smut next chapter...probably.


	4. Welcome to Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have returned more quickly this time! Welcome readers new and old! This is the chapter where shit starts getting weird. Enjoy!

Nolan stumbled in Brett's door with hands roaming his body, over hips and stomach, caressing the bulge in the front of his jeans and the curve of his ass. His calves hit the couch and he dropped. Brett straddled his lap and went back to devouring his mouth.

Brett's sultry gaze burned deep into Nolan's eyes. “Fuck me?”

“Fuck, yes!”

Brett helped Nolan out of his shirt, throwing it somewhere in the room. He leaned down and sucked bruises onto Nolan's neck, grinding his hips down with a satisfied mewl. He sat back to take a look at his handiwork before hopping off Nolan’s lap, sinking to his knees in front of him. He yanked Nolan’s jeans open and down to his ankles, far too eager to get this show rolling.

The sight alone of Brett on his knees made blood rush to Nolan’s dick. Brett wrapped his mouth around it and sent a storm of feelings through Nolan, reminiscent of the first time he had sex. The feeling of **_finally_ ** having someone else touch him was too overwhelming to comprehend.

Nolan’s brain caught up with his body and he loosened the death grip he had on Brett’s hair. He looked down to see Brett’s pants around his thighs, arm stretched out behind him, working himself open. “Fuck, Brett, you’re so fucking hot.”

Brett’s lips curled awkwardly around Nolan’s cock. He made one more valiant bob down to the base before pulling away, smirking up at Nolan, cock peering out of the top of his boxers.

“Fuck,” Nolan whined, slumping into the couch. “How are you so hot even in clothes?!”

“Maybe I’m born with it, maybe it wolvilline.”

Nolan snorted, giggles bubbling around it like a pig in a kiddy pool full of baby chickens. “I can’t believe you just said that!”

Brett stood, dropping his pants. He climbed into Nolan lap, purposely rubbing their cocks together. He smirked at Nolan’s sharp gasp. “We’re fucking, remember?”

“You did this!” Nolan started giggling again. “Fucking wolvilline…”

Brett raised a judgmental eyebrow. “Are you going to fuck me or should I go do it myself?”

Nolan heaved a breath, trying to control himself. He made the mistake of looking at Brett’s face and the giggles came back.

“Really?”

“Sorry!” Nolan placed a hand over his eyes. “I can’t look at you right now.”

“Fine with me.”

A bottle cap clicked and cold slime was smeared over his dick. The lack of sight made everything feel illicit. Brett shifted on his lap and anticipation built in Nolan’s gut. A beat of stillness, and then half his cock was engulfed in warm pressure. Their moans echoed throughout the room. Brett pulled up before pushing himself down the rest of the way.

Nolan grappled for something to hold onto. His hands slapped against Brett's ass and he grabbed on, kneading the muscled flesh as Brett rocked his hips.

Brett braced himself on the back of the couch, lifting himself up and slamming back down, repeating the process again and again. Nolan thrust up into him, angling their hips to find the sweet spot that made Brett whimper.

Brett's claws sank into the couch, fangs poking out of his open mouth. He closed glowing eyes, back tensing, trying not to completely lose control.

Nolan leaned his head up to whisper huskily into Brett’s ear, “Do you like my cock that much, Brett? You enjoy fucking yourself on my cock so much you’re gonna lose control?”

Brett growled deep in his chest. He bent down, scraping his fangs against Nolan’s neck, his wolf fighting to maintain dominance.

Nolan was so close. He brought a hand around to stroke Brett’s cock, his thrusts getting more erratic. A clawed hand tilted his head to the side and the fangs drifted up. Their mouths met in a hungry kiss. Brett nipped at Nolan’s bottom lip, fangs digging in just enough to send Nolan over the edge. He thrust through the orgasm. Brett’s hand reached down, knocking away Nolan’s to stroke himself to completion, painting their laps in white.

Brett wrapped his arms around Nolan’s shoulders and nuzzled into his neck, inhaling deeply. He let it out as a disappointed huff.

“What?” Nolan asked, reaching his clean hand up to drag his fingers through Brett’s hair.

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing. You did the sad huff thing.”

“What ‘sad huff thing’?”

“The little huff you make when something makes you sad. It’s totally a thing. Don’t fight me on this.”

“I wasn't sad. I was mildly disappointed.”

“By what?”

He did the huff again. “Your smell. You were sweeter in girl-form.”

“Sorry buddy, but I can’t be in girl-form all the time.”

“I don’t want you in girl-form all the time. I just want you to smell like girl-form all the time.”

“And what did I smell like?”

Brett hummed as he thought. “Like strawberries and cream. Made me hungry.”

“That is easily remedied with some shampoo and shit.”

“S’not the same. That has a layer of chemicals underneath. You were just naturally sweet.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s better this way, honestly. That smell made me agonizingly horny all the time.”

“And you aren’t now?” Nolan gestured to their naked bodies and the clothes thrown around the living room.

“Nah, this is just young werewolf hormones.”

“I think your sister would deny that.”

“My sister is a fuddy-duddy who thinks that sex has to involve ‘feelings’.”

“They do make it better.”

Brett sniffed, pressing a kiss to the junction of Nolan’s neck. “True.”

Nolan’s stomach grumbled. He looked down in surprise, Brett giggling against him. “We never got food.”

“I have something you can eat,” Brett offered, voice low and growly

“Nuh-uh.” Nolan extricated himself from Brett’s hold, standing in front of the couch with his hands on his hips. “I refuse to suck your dick or eat you out until I get some real food.”

Brett pouted up at him, then sighed and started getting up. “Fine, but you’re totally doing both of those when we get back.”

“Why are you so horny?”

“Full moon.”

“Ah.” Nolan bent to pick up his clothes, jumping when Brett smacked his bare ass. He straightened up quickly, spinning around to glare at him.

Brett stared back at him with an expression of pure innocence. “You shouldn’t dangle it in front of me.”

“Honestly, what do you do without me?”

Brett sighed heavily. “Since I figured you wouldn’t want me fucking other people, I masturbate. A lot. There are more toys in the box because of it.”

“Damn, why haven’t we been using those?”

“Because you came home with some toys of your own.” Brett sent a meaningful look down at Nolan’s now flat chest.

“Right. Fair enough.” Nolan’s stomach rumbled again. “Food first, then toys.”

“As you wish.”

\---

Nolan stayed as a man all summer. Two and a half months of being lovely, manly Nolan. Nearly a full summer of spending quality time with his boyfriend in various states of undress. Both were equally glad that their stint at the beach with their siblings was not interrupted by the need to hide Nolan’s tits. To be perfectly honest, Nolan wouldn’t mind it happening again, as long as the menstruation part didn’t happen after.

Everything returned to normal. Nolan went back to school. He and Brett restarted their long-distance relationship. Everything was fine, but there was always that lingering thought of, what if it happens again? What if it wasn’t some weird one-off witch spell and actually something worse is happening to his body? What if it continued to happen and lasted longer and longer until he couldn’t return to his normal, male body?

Brett said he was over-thinking things. That if it did happen again they could enlist the McCall pack to help figure out the cause and reverse it before it became permanent.

He was normal until Brett decided to finally make the four-hour trek down to see him.

\---

Brett was the first to notice this time around. His gentle caresses up Nolan’s stomach turned into the fondling of his breasts. He stroked over both boobs, brushing lightly against his nipples. Nolan's breath hitched and he did it again. He cupped one breast in his palm, rolling the nipple between his fingers and tugging on it gently. Nolan let out a breathy moan.

His hand trailed lower, over the slight pudge of Nolan's belly and the curve of a hip bone. He stroked down the outside of one leg and up the inside, going just far enough to elicit another gasp.

“Tease.”

Brett kissed his shoulder. “I didn't want to start something before you were awake.”

“But you woke me up by starting something.”

“Details.” Brett’s finger dipped between Nolan’s legs, brushing light as a feather against his clit.

Nolan rolled his hips, desperate for a more substantial touch, groaning in frustration when Brett pulled his hand away. “Your attempts to not start something has started something.”

Brett nipped along Nolan's shoulder, rocking his hard cock against Nolan's hip. “I better finish it then shouldn't I?”

Nolan hummed sleepily and yawned into his sentence, “Can’t do that.”

“Why?” Brett nosed up Nolan’s neck to suck at the skin under his jaw.

“Condoms.”

“Fuck.”

Nolan burst into breathy giggles. “I just said we couldn't!” A firm two-fingered press between his legs put an end to the giggles. “Tell you what, you keep doing that and I'll let you hump me.”

“How romantic.”

“You're the one who molested me in my sleep.”

“True.” Brett leaned down for a few lazy morning kisses. He patted Nolan’s thigh and pulled away. “Roll over.”

Nolan gave a playful huff but did as asked. “Always with my ass.”

“I like your ass.” Brett pulled him close. “It looks so beautiful with my cock between your cheeks.”

Nolan snorted an entirely unsexy sound. “That was both ridiculous and a little creepy.” He slung a leg over Brett's, pushing back against him. “Let's get this thing rolling.”

Brett slid his hand up Nolan's thigh, pressing kisses to his neck. He dipped his fingers back in, the new angle making it easier. He started by brushing lightly, teasingly at the nub, then moving in circles and applying more pressure. His fingers went further, between the lips, picking up slick as he went, and pushed two fingers into his vagina. He nipped at Nolan's shoulder as he pumped his fingers in and out a few times.

Nolan moaned, rocking his hips down to meet Brett's hand. “You forgot about the humping.”

Brett had forgotten about the humping. Between the dream he had and the noises Nolan made, he was already achingly hard. It wouldn’t take much to make him come.

Brett sucked a bruise at the nape of Nolan’s neck, and Nolan rocked his hips backward, grinding his soft ass against Brett’s cock, Brett’s moans filling his ears. Brett’s fingers slipped from his vagina, sliding back up to play with his clit. Nolan kept rolling his hips, pulling Brett along on his quest for pleasure.

“Wait,” Brett choked out. He was so close already. He pushed his hand into Nolan again, gathering the slick onto his fingers, and then bringing it back to stroke his cock, spreading the wetness over it.

A breathy laugh sounded beside him. "Enjoying yourself?”

Brett slotted his cock back between those heavenly cheeks, pulling Nolan closer by the hip, and moaning, “Oh fuck, yes.” His cock slid more easily now. His hips moved faster and more freely.

Nolan dragged Brett’s hand down, positioning it the way he wanted, and started moving with him. Every movement caused the pressure in Brett’s gut to build. His mind blanked, focused only on fulfilling the wanton need inside himself. Hungry moans filled the room, drowning out everything but each other.

Brett was so close, but he needed something more. His hand sped up. Nolan’s legs locked as his orgasm built, hips jerking out of rhythm in desperation. Brett sucked at the sensitive spot under his jaw, and Nolan came with a cry. That’s what he needed. The smell of Nolan’s orgasm and the feel of his muscles contracting against him pulled Brett over the edge, spilling his release between them.

Nolan relaxed into Brett fully, eyes closed and breathing deep. This was Brett’s favorite version on him, no anxiety, no depression, just them, and the post orgasm ecstasy. It had taken a lot of work to get here, many cumulative hours of reassurances and encouragement that Nolan should be a little selfish. It was all worth it when he got to see Nolan in such a state of bliss.

“So why were you molesting me?”

Brett had to think about it. “I had a sexy dream.”

“About?”

“You, like this, writhing on my cock, full of my cum.” His dick gave a valiant twitch at the memory. “It was gorgeous.”

Brett had to roll away because Nolan's giggles were making his ass rub against Brett's oversensitive cock. Nolan followed when his laughter faded, pillowing his head on Brett's shoulder. “You and your weird wolf stuff.”

“You like my weird wolf stuff.”

“It has its benefits.”

“Like?” Brett grinned at Nolan. They both knew what Nolan’s favorite werewolf trait was.

Nolan grinned back. “Like that time you held me up while you fucked me. That was an excellent show of physical prowess if I’ve ever seen one.”

“Oh, the memories.” He sounded like an old man remembering stories from ages past, even though that happened less than six months ago.

Nolan laughed. It was a beautiful, melodic noise that Brett would seek to the ends of the Earth. It had been far too long since he had been in a room with it. He wanted to bathe in it. Cover his brain with it and use it to block out the shit that life kept throwing at him.

Nolan had other plans. "We should go somewhere,” he said quietly.

“Why?”

“Because my roommate will be back this afternoon and I’d rather he wasn’t looking over our shoulder the whole time we’re together. I got the same dude from last year and he’s seriously giving me the creeps now.”

“Why? What happened?”

“He keeps glaring at me and growling, ‘Kill him. Complete your training!’” He glanced up at the utterly disturbed face Brett was making and giggled. “Don’t make that face! It was a joke! A Star Wars reference. I wish it was that obvious a situation. He just keeps staring at me weird, not in an angry way, more calculating. Like he wants to say something, but he can’t find the right words or the right time to do so. It’s weird.”

“If you ever need me I’m one phone call away.”

“I can take care of myself y’know.”

“I know. I’m just saying.”

“He doesn’t seem dangerous, just weird.” Nolan sighed, pushing himself up to his knees. “Let’s go shower so we can get out of here. I’m sick of this place.”

\---

They went to the store for condoms and didn’t get to use them all weekend. Every time they tried to start something someone or something got in the way. First, they knocked over a shelf during the foreplay and the resident advisor was called to check if they had died. Then, it was Nolan’s friend Gary inviting them out for drinks. THEN, his roommate Darren wouldn’t fucking leave the room no matter how much subtle begging Nolan doled out.

“Why am I still a girl?!” Nolan wailed, shoving the half-eaten box of fries away from him so he could lay his head on the table.

“Dunno, man. You gonna eat those?”

Nolan pushed the fries toward Brett, propping his chin up on his arms. “I don't understand. Last time I was a girl for, like, three days. It's been that long and I haven't even started bleeding. What the fuck is going on?”

Brett shrugged, chomping down on a bunch of fries. Such a heathen. Doesn't he know McDonald's fries are supposed to be eaten one at a time?

“All my shirts are stretched out too. Stupid boobs can’t be contained.”

Brett grinned that stupid, far-too-happy-with-himself grin. “Boobs gone wild.”

Nolan gave him his most impressive unimpressed face. “Not helping.”

“You could get a bra.”

“I don't want a bra,” Nolan whined. “I want to go back to normal.”

“Sorry, I don't know how to help you.”

Nolan blew out a heavy sigh. “I don't either. That's the problem.”

Nolan didn't have a problem with being a girl the first time. It was weird, but he had been home on summer break and didn't have to interact with anyone if he didn't want to. This time he has classes, and lacrosse practice, and a study group he had to hide his tits from.

The tits alone were a pain in the ass. They hurt being squished against the table edge, but he was too lazy to do anything about it.

Also, he was never sure whether he was actually horny or if he just needed to pee. A question that had never crossed his mind before now.

“You're lost in your head again.”

Nolan sniffed, lifting his head. “I was thinking.”

“I figured.”

“What if I never change back?”

Brett studied him for a moment. He shrugged. “You'll either have to get used to being a girl, or get a sex change.”

“That sounds like a lot of money I’ll never have.”

“Guess you'll have to learn to live with it.”

Nolan sneered. “You'd like that, wouldn't you?”

“Hey, I didn't do this to you. Don't hate me for it.”

“Sorry…”

Brett reached across the table, setting a comforting hand on Nolan’s arm. “We’ll figure something out.”

\---

Nolan opened his dorm room door and watched Darren and his gorgeous fucking face phase into existence. Surely he had seen wrong. Surely it was just Nolan's brain deciding that since Darren looked like an elf that he must also have magic powers. Surely the issues with his brain had extended beyond his emotional state and were now encroaching on the bit that gives hallucinations. For once Nolan would love for it to be something wrong with him, but the look on Darren’s face said otherwise.

Giant, luscious blue eyes stared at Nolan like a deer in headlights. Perfectly arched eyebrows inched their way behind gently curled, golden blond bangs. Broad, delicately muscled shoulders hunched in as he resigned himself to his fate.

Nolan stayed frozen in the doorway. He gaped like a fish for a moment before asking, “What are you?”

“I don’t understand. I’m a human just like you.” There was a silent plea behind Darren’s eyes.

“Nuh-uh man, I know a supernatural when I see one. Spill it.”

Darren’s eyes shifted to the open door. “Shut that. I don’t want everyone to hear.” He sat on his bed with a sigh.

Nolan shut the door and went to sit across from him, leaning his elbows on his knees with anticipation.

Darren dragged a hand through his hair and Nolan swore it glittered in the sunlight. He stared at the floor silently, a moment later finally saying, “I’m a demon. An incubus to be specific.”

Nolan nodded. Darren’s appearance made perfect sense. The perfect combination of strength and beauty. Who wouldn’t want to fuck him?

This knowledge only brought up more questions in Nolan’s mind. How did...incubuses? Incubi? How did demons like him work? Did he need to kill people or does he just need to fuck them? If he didn’t kill them, do they remember the encounter, or does he wipe their memory somehow?

“Why are you here?” Nolan asked. It was a rude question that he thought he had discarded, but somehow it had made its way out of his mouth.

Darren’s features softened from the perturbed look into a much more natural-looking sly smirk. “Dear, sweet Nolan, do you realise how many promiscuous teenagers there are on this campus?”

“Not to sound vain or anything, but why haven’t you hit on me?”

“Because you have Brett.”

The response was so quick, such an obvious answer that it took Nolan a while to figure out why it didn't sit right. Nolan’s eyebrows pinched together. “I never told you his name.”

The deer in headlights look was back. If Darren wanted to lie he should really learn how to control his face.

“How do you know his name, Darren?” Nolan asked, his tone accusatory.

Darren averted his gaze, glancing at everything; probably looking for a better lie. They landed on Nolan’s phone on the nightstand. “I saw it once when he texted you.”

“Good try, but his name is ‘Wolfy Butt’ in my phone.” Nolan stood, standing in front of Darren with his arms crossed. “How do you know his name?”

“Uhhh…” Darren threw an apologetic smile up at Nolan before he started to fade from view.

Nolan grabbed his shoulder without thinking. The world around him disappeared, replaced by an overwhelming blackness. He felt like he was falling, tumbling head first into the abyss. His knees gave out, his whole body jarring as he hit the ground. Darkness slowly turned into blurs of red and gold. He blinked, trying to force sight back into his eyes.

“Oh god! Nolan, are you okay?” Darren’s voice drifted in through the rushing in Nolan’s ears. His face slowly coming into view. Golden bangs fell into distressed eyes as Darren cradled Nolan’s head in his hands. “I’m so sorry, darling. I’m so sorry, you shouldn’t be here.”

Nolan glanced around them. They knelt in the middle of a bedroom; a fancy one at that. It was decked out in black woodwork and red velvet. A plush lounge area sat to his right and a huge clawfoot tub to his left. The king-sized canopy bed in front of him was obviously the main focus of the room. From what he could see there were no doors or windows.

“Where are we?”

Darren gave him a sad smile. “Welcome to Hell.”

Nolan took another considering look around the room. “It’s nicer than I thought it would be.”

Darren chuckled, leaning back on his heels, one hand sliding down Nolan’s arm, clasping his hand when it reached the bottom. “That’s because you’re in my room. You should see Luci’s. He has all that stupid modern furniture. Makes the room so cold and uninviting.” He shook his head, curling his lip in disgust. He paused, examining Nolan. “How do you feel?”

Nolan breathed deeply in his nose and out his mouth. “A little out of it, but otherwise okay.” His eyes narrowed as he looked back into Darren’s. “You never answered my question.”

Darren’s head drooped. “I didn’t know how to say it without you getting mad at me.”

Okay, that was concerning. What did he do that would make Nolan mad at him? “Have you been stalking me?!”

Darren flinched at the yell. Big, scary, demon man couldn’t handle a little yelling. It was almost laughable.

“I was only looking out for you.”

“Oh my god, you have been stalking me!” Nolan yanked his hand away, glaring at the devastated face Darren made. “Take me back to Earth.”

“I did it because I care about yo-”

“Take me back, Darren!” Nolan was on the fringes of a panic attack.

Darren nodded, and Nolan resolutely ignored the tears welling in Darren’s eyes. He took Nolan’s hand, sending them hurtling back into the darkness. When Nolan’s vision came back he was alone in their room.

Every muscle in his body ached, but Nolan couldn’t stay here. He ran on shaky legs out the door, bashing his shoulder on the frame in his haste.

Nolan spent the next few nights on the couch in the dorm lounge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have the next chapter written. It just needs editing, but I'm starting a huge waxing project at work in half an hour and may not get it posted for a while, sorry. I'll try and reply to comments in the meantime.
> 
> I love you all.


	5. Demonology

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AO3 is having issues getting email notifications out so I am going to start sharing my fics on Twitter and Tumblr. So follow me at Ultimate_Rosie on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Ultimate_Rosie) or RosieWritesRidiculousShit on [Tumblr](https://rosiewritesridiculousshit.tumblr.com//) for more reliable updates. Also, feel free to chat with me there. I love talking to you guys.
> 
> Forewarning, Angsty McAngst up ahead.

Thoughts attacked Nolan from all sides. He couldn't get Darren's devastated face out of his head. Why was he stalking Nolan? What did Nolan have that Darren would want? It wasn't like he went out partying and came home with a new partner every weekend.

Nolan sought Darren out and shoved him against a hallway wall. “You fucking cock-blocked me!”

Darren actually looked frightened. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know!”

Nolan jabbed a finger into his chest. “Bullshit! You’re a fucking incubus. I’m sure you have some kind of horniness detector!”

Darren sighed, shoulders relaxing against the wall. “Fine,” he said indignantly, “you got me. I was cock-blocking you, but only because I didn’t want that stupid beast getting you pregnant.”

“Who I fuck is my business!” Nolan froze with his mouth open. “Wait, I can get pregnant?” He was losing his mind. He had to be. This was not happening.

“In that body, yes.”

“How the fuck do you know?”

“Because…” Darren trailed off, looking first at the floor for guidance, then more desperately up at the ceiling. He took a deep breath before looking back into Nolan’s eyes. “Because I’m your father, Nolan.”

Nolan stumbled backward like he had been struck. “What?” He choked on the word. His throat was closing. He couldn’t even look at Darren for fear that the anger would overtake him.

“I’m your father, Nolan. Your mother and her husband had a huge fight and she found me in a bar. We became fast friends and...and I fell in love. In a moment of weakness, I let you happen.”

“No.” Nolan stepped back further, bumping into the opposite wall. “No, my mom wouldn’t do that.”

“She told me later about your mental problems...I’m sorry, that might have been my fault. Children of humans and demons tend to have issues.”

“This can’t be real. I’m sleep deprived and hallucinating. That has to be it.”

Darren took a cautious step forward. “Oh Darling, I’m so sorry. She told me not to tell you, but I thought you could handle it.” He reached up to stroke Nolan’s face and Nolan slapped it away.

“Don’t fucking touch me.” Nolan glared at him with cold, mean eyes. “You are not my father. You will never be my father. My father is the vaguely homophobic, yet loving man who raised me; who took me to all the quinceaneras and tried to set me up with girls. The one who cared enough to pay for therapy for the shit  _ you  _ caused. The man who went to every one of my lacrosse games even though our team was terrible. You, with your stupid face, are not my father.” Nolan shoved Darren in the chest angrily and stormed off down the hallway.

Nolan yanked his phone out of his pocket on his way down the stairs. He fumbled it, cringing as he watched it bounce down the steps.

He ran down the rest of the way after it. It was okay. Thank God for sturdy phone cases. He dialed up his mother and busted through the outside door.

He didn’t know where he was going, but he couldn’t stay here. Darren knew where he lived. He could go home, but his mother was there and he really didn’t want to see her either.

_ “Hello, Dear,”  _ his mother chimed across the line.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He sounded angry and panicked and he wasn’t sure which he should be at the moment.

_ “What do you mean, Honey?” _

“Why didn’t you tell me my father was a...” he lowered his voice, looking around for eavesdroppers. “A  _ demon _ .”

_ “Oh, Honey. He wasn’t supposed to say anything.” _

“That doesn’t make it better!”

She sighed.  _ “I’m sorry, Honey. It was a lapse in judgment on my part. I regret it, but how you came to be doesn’t make me love you any less.” _

“You cheated on Dad! With a demon!”

_ “I blame your dad for that. I warned him beforehand.” _

“What the fuck, Mom?!”

_ “Don’t swear at me! I don’t even remember what the argument was about anymore, but I told your dad that if he didn’t stop I was going to sleep with another man. It was an odd threat, I admit, but it happened. I told Dharrenar he shouldn’t tell you. He promised me that he was only going to watch over you, but he always has to stick his nose into everyone’s business.” _

“I can't-” Nolan moved the phone away from his ear. His mom was still ranting, but he didn’t care enough to listen. He hung up. He was nearly to the bus station, from there he would get on a bus and go...somewhere. Brett’s maybe? How would he react to finding out Nolan’s a half demon? Would he freak out like Nolan had when he found out werewolves were real? Did he know about demons already? Would Brett leave him for being a demon?! It’s not Nolan’s fault though, he was just born that way. Wait no, Brett’s Buddhist, he probably wouldn't care. Did Buddhists believe in demons? Guess they kind of had to now. If demons were real, were God and angels real too?

Nolan was so far into his own head that the hours-long bus ride back to Beacon Hills felt like nothing.

By the time he was thumping his way up the stairs to Brett’s third-floor apartment, his mind had gone blank. Every possible thought had flown through his mind like a tumbleweed. 

Nolan knocked on Brett's door, but no answer came. He must be out. Now his options were either go home or wait.

Nolan took a seat against the opposite wall. He dozed off a couple times while he sat there, too exhausted by everything that happened to stay conscious.

“Nolan?”

Brett's voice filled Nolan's empty body with relief. His head rolled to the side so he could look at Brett. The smile he sent was more pain than happiness.

Brett crouched next to him, looking terribly worried. “What’s up? Why are you here?” He reached out, stroking Nolan's face where Darren had tried to just a few hours ago. Nolan welcomed the touch this time.

Nolan spoke slowly, still not truly believing what he was saying, “I just found out that I am half demon.”

Brett's eyes narrowed, mouth dropping into a frown. “Demons aren't real.”

“They are...apparently. He took me to Hell and everything.”

“Who?”

“Darren, my roommate. He told me he was my father, and then my mom confirmed it, and-” Nolan barked out a hysterical laugh. “Now I don't know who I am anymore.”

“You are Nolan, the lacrosse playing, video game nerd that I fell in love with. Finding out who your biological parents are doesn't have to affect who you have become.”

“How do you always know what to say?”

Brett smiled a sad, distant smile. “I had a great teacher.” He stood, holding his hand out for Nolan to take. “Come inside and tell me everything. Then we'll figure out what to do.”

\---

Nolan sat at the table making wild gestures as he spoke. “AND he said he cock-blocked us on purpose because he didn't want a 'stupid beast’ getting me pregnant! He said it so matter-of-fact too like he gets a say in who I make babies with! Mother-fucker was pretending to be my dad!” He gasped. “Oh my god, he is a literal mother-fucker! There has to be justice for this! Maybe I could take it up with God or the archangel Michael or something. Get the fucker thrown into a padded room in Heaven where he can’t fuck anyone else over!”

Brett was leaned on the kitchen counter laughing at him. Nolan glared. This was not the time for amusement. His life was falling apart around him and there was nothing Nolan could do to stop it.

“Could you stop laughing at me? I’m having a crisis.”

“I’m sorry.” He totally wasn’t, he was still laughing. “It’s just so ridiculous. Here I was thinking I had the most dramatic family drama in this relationship.” Brett's laughter petered off, a ridiculous grin spiraling into a look of wonder on his face. “Babies?”

“Supposedly…” Nolan knew he looked nervous based on the concerned expression that passed over Brett’s face. Having kids was not a future he had ever considered, writing it off with what little attraction he had for women. That and having a parent who freaks the fuck out at random is not good for a child. Plus, if the B.P.D. is because he's part demon, what kind of horrible shit would their kids go through? Would the werewolf blood balance things out or would it make everything worse?

“Nolan, look at me.”

Something picked Nolan’s hands up from his lap, snapping him back into reality. His eyes finally focused on Brett kneeling before him.

“Don’t freak out. Let's deal with the demon thing first, okay?”

Nolan gazed deep into Brett’s eyes, searching for something he couldn’t name. “You want kids, don't you?”

“I'm not going to lie to you, Nolan, I do. I understand why you might not though, and that's fine. I can get my kid fix somewhere else. Though, now that I know it's possible, I will be a little disappointed that we won't get to find out what our kids would look like.”

Nolan laughed at the idea. “They'd have bug eyes and giant limbs. They'd look ridiculous.”

Brett’s face slowly lit up. “Adorably ridiculous.”

Nolan nodded sagely before the giggles got the better of him. “ _ We’re _ ridiculous.”

“We are,” Brett agreed fondly. “Are you good now? Have I averted a crisis once again?”

“For the moment.”

Brett pecked Nolan on the cheek and went back to the stove.

Nolan stared down at his hands. “I wonder if I have superpowers.”

“Like what?”

“I dunno. Darren can teleport or something, maybe I can too.”

“You can, actually. Or you should be able to.”

Nolan jumped, snapping his head to the other chair. “What the fuck?! What are you doing here?!”

Darren grinned sheepishly across the table. ‘I was...keeping an eye on you?”

“Didn’t I tell you to fuck off?!”

“Not in so many words…”

“Alright fine.” Nolan gestured toward the door. “Fuck off. Never come back. Pretend I don’t exist. Never speak to me, or my mother, again.”

Darren looked like he had just watched all the puppies in the world get brutally murdered. He stood slowly, shoulders drooping dramatically. “I just thought I could offer some insight into what you might be capable of, but fine, I’ll go.” He sniffed pitifully as he shuffled to the door.

Nolan rolled his eyes. He glanced at Brett, who gave him a shrug. “Stay,” he barked.

Darren perked up immediately, spinning around with a flourish.

Nolan pointed an aggressive finger at Darren. “You will only answer my questions, I don’t want any commentary on my life, understand?”

Darren nodded, sitting back down.

“Question one, how do I change back to a man?”

Darren side eyed Brett angrily. “You need to satisfy your partner's needs.” The disgusted tone he used said all of the insulting things he was thinking.

“So it’s Brett’s fault that I change?” Nolan sent an accusing glare in Brett’s direction. Brett just threw up his hands in confusion.

“Essentially.” Darren folded his hands on the table, calculating gaze shifting from Nolan to Brett and back. “I’m not allowed to commentate, but can I offer advice?”

Nolan hefted a sigh, crossing his arms. “If you must.”

Darren leaned in, whispering, “Always use a condom with that one.” He jerked his head at Brett's back. “I’d hate to see what would come out of you.” He finished with a dramatic shiver and leaned back in his chair.

Nolan sent Darren the most menacing death glare he could achieve. “How many times do I have to tell you? You are not my father. You have no say in who I fuck. Thank you for the information, now get out of my house.”

“This isn't your house…”

“Get out of Brett's house then! Just stop spying on us, you nosy bastard!”

Darren stood, looking like a kicked puppy. He bowed his head as he left, soft golden locks flopping into his face. If it were anyone else Nolan would feel bad. Darren gave one last piteous look back before finally leaving.

“Thank, fucking, God.” Nolan slouched in his chair, arms dangling at his sides.

Brett set a plate of chicken alfredo in front of him, sitting in Darren's vacated chair.

“Did you not smell him or did you decide you didn't care?”

“Didn't smell him.”

“Great, he could still be here then.”

“I’m not,” a voice whispered from behind Nolan. “Oh shit.”

Nolan slammed his elbows on the table, burying his face in his hands. “FUCK OFF!”

“Alright, fine. Unappreciative teenagers…”

Nolan felt a slight shift in the air, like a gentle breeze, and then there was silence. The tension in Nolan’s shoulders eased. All of this shit was setting him more on edge than usual. Finally, his paranoia had an outlet.

Nolan dragged his fingers through his hair, taking a frustrated deep breath. He picked up his fork and started poking his pasta with it. “So...what do you need?”

Brett slurped a string of noodle into his mouth and mumbled a soft, “What?”

“I have to ‘satisfy your needs’ to change back, so what is it?”

Brett swallowed. “Oh, right. Uh…” He glanced down at his plate. “To be honest, I’m pretty satisfied with this pasta right now.”

“Fantastic. I have no hope then.”

“Gimme a few minutes, I’ll think of something.”

\---

Nolan lay in bed far too awake for 4 AM. Brett’s arm shifted against Nolan’s stomach, and Nolan silently wished he hadn’t come here. He needed time to process and having a source of frustration right next to him was not helping. Brett would wake up if he tried to leave. Stupid werewolf senses would know that Nolan hated him a little bit. Why did he go for the bisexual? He could have found a nice fully gay dude somewhere, right? But, he wouldn’t be Brett, and deep down in Nolan’s heart, he knew that no one else would make him as happy. It sucked that he was the reason for Nolan’s problems.

He couldn’t stay here any longer. He had to go...somewhere, do something, clear his mind.

Nolan lifted Brett’s arm a little, slipping out from under it. He scooted to the edge of the bed and was about to stand when Brett’s groggy voice stopped him.

“Where are you going?”

Nolan turned toward Brett’s prone form, giving him what he hoped was an innocent smile - not that it really mattered in the dim lighting. “Uhh...bathroom. I need to pee.”

Brett leaned up on his elbow, sighing. “That’s bullshit and we both know it. Once you fall asleep you're dead to the world for at least seven hours. Something’s up.”

Nolan blew out his mouth, making his hair fly around his face. “I just need to think.”

Brett studied his face, eyes glowing faintly to see him better in the dark. “Text me later so I know you’re okay.”

Relief flooded Nolan’s system. “Of course.”

He tried to escape again, stopped this time by a hand on his wrist. Brett tapped his own cheek, smirking up at him.

Nolan chuckled but kissed it anyway. “You’re ridiculous. I’m leaving now.”

Brett flopped back into the pillows, all too happy to go back to sleep. Nolan envied him. Sleep sounded fantastic right now.

Nolan finally stood and walked to the door, taking one last look at what he was leaving behind, saving the peaceful image in his mind.

\---

Nolan walked several blocks before stopping in a park on the outskirts of a suburb. He sat on a bench, staring at the sky.

His grandmother would tell him to pray for guidance. Demons existed, so God probably exists too, right?

“Uhh...sup, God? How do I start a prayer? I should have paid more attention in church.” Nolan heaved a breath. “So...I know I’m a half demon and all, but you can cut me some slack for that, right? It’s not my fault. Anyway, I was hoping you could help me out. I’m freaking out, like usual. What should I do about Darren? He has information that might be helpful, and it seems like he’s not going to leave me alone, so it probably won’t help even if I try to keep him out, but should I try anyway? And what does Brett want? He’s Buddhist and you’re probably not on great terms, but you’re omnipotent, so you have to know.” Nolan closed his eyes, blocking out the empty sky. “Just show me a sign, okay? Anything?”

Nolan opened his eyes, looking around briefly; nothing. He sighed heavily, turning his gaze to the abandoned playground.

Across the park, a light turned on in one of the houses. A man with a baby on his shoulder paced from one end of the window to the other. Nolan and the guy both winced as a particularly loud screech pierced through the night.

Fuck. Brett wanted babies.

Fuck! Nolan could give Brett babies!


	6. Fuck For Your Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Lovelies, thank you for the encouragements! I got finished waxing the largest room in the church a week ago, and this morning a bunch of small children spilled glitter all over it, so now it's either ruined or prettier, depending on how you look at it. Thanks, Pastor, for setting that up.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

If Nolan turned into a girl this time because Brett wanted kids, was it the same need as the last time he changed? It can't be, right? They didn't even know he could change into a girl then. But if it was, then maybe they could fake Brett's system into thinking that he's getting what he wants without actually getting pregnant.

They could try it, at least.

Nolan got back to Brett's apartment around 5:30 AM. He discarded his clothes on his way to the bedroom and climbed on top of Brett.

Brett pulled Nolan closer without opening his eyes. Nolan’s boobs pressed against Brett’s bare chest. “You came back.” His hands drifted down Nolan’s back and an eye peeled open. “And you’re naked. Why are you naked?”

“We need to fuck.”

The other eye opened to properly stare at Nolan. “Can I sleep some more first?”

“Noooo! I don’t want to be a girl anymore.”

“And us fucking is going to fix that?”

“I don’t know for sure, but I was talking to God, and then there was a dad, and I think it’ll help.” Nolan rubbed his boobs against Brett’s chest in what he hoped was a sensual manner. “Please?”

Brett smiled apologetically up at him. “I’m really not in the mood.”

Nolan huffed, rolling into the empty spot on the bed. “Fine.”

“Sorry.” Brett slung his arm over Nolan’s waist, pressing a kiss to the curve of his shoulder. “I promise we can fuck tomorrow.”

\---

Nolan dozed off around the time the sun rose. He didn’t wake up until after Brett had gone to work. Brett left money and a note that read, “Sorry there’s no food, I was planning on going shopping this evening,” which was a total lie because he had boxed mac and cheese, and that’s all Nolan really needed.

He lounged around Brett’s place until he was fairly sure that his mother had gone to her knitting group, and then he went home to play with the dogs.

Nolan returned to Brett’s shortly before Brett did, and they went together to the grocery store. Brett’s list was primarily meat and vegetables, but Nolan snuck donuts and sugary cereal into the cart.

Nolan gazed longingly at the alcohol aisle. That would make the menstruation part much easier to handle.

They got home, put the groceries away, and Nolan was about to proposition Brett when he said he promised Lori they could have dinner together.

Don’t get Nolan wrong, he likes Lori. She’s sweet and they have a lot in common, but right now he just wanted to know if his theory was correct. He didn’t care that she was engaged to the cute Chinese guy she met at the gas station! Actually, he did care because she was basically his sister too and this guy seemed really good for her, but that’s not the point dammit! He just wanted to get laid! It wouldn’t even take long, a quickie in the bathroom would probably work. It just needed to happen soon or Nolan was going to really lose his mind.

\---

The door to Brett’s apartment closed behind them and in a flash, Nolan was crowding Brett against it.

Nolan fluttered his lashes and pouted. “Please fuck me now?” His hands crept under Brett’s shirt, gently pulling his body closer.

“You're really excited about this, aren’t you?”

“I’m so fucking tired of having tits. The other day, I bent over too quickly, and they hit me in the chin.”

Brett's lips curled, his chest shaking despite his best effort at keeping the giggles in. “That's horrible,” he said in a mockingly consoling tone. “You best lie down. I'd hate for that to happen again.”

Nolan rolled his eyes, wandering toward the bedroom. “Come put your dick in me so I can have mine back.”

“Yes, Dear.”

\---

This was the first time in Nolan’s life that he was happy he had started bleeding. Blood meant he wasn’t pregnant and hopefully, that he would soon have his dick back. He was ecstatic and no threat of pain or suffering could tamper it.

Finally, he could go back to his normal life.

Nolan dashed out of the bathroom, leapt onto Brett's back, and wrapped his limbs around him like a monkey. Brett teetered at the impact but remained standing. He turned his head to try and look at Nolan.

“Something happen?”

“Yes.” Nolan kissed his neck, nuzzling into it.

“You gonna share?”

“I started bleeding.”

“And you're planning on sharing it with me?”

Nolan made a disgusted face. “What?”

“You're not wearing any pants.”

“Oh shit, my bad.” Nolan jumped off Brett, checking his clothes for splotches. “Sorry, I’ll be back.”

Nolan came back a moment later, dressed this time. “We didn't buy pads when we went to the store, so I stole some of your ratty underpants.”

Brett gave him an odd look. “And you did what with them?”

Nolan's brows furrowed. “I put them on…?”

“Oh, good,” Brett sighed in relief. “I thought you were going to say you stuck them up your vag.”

“Ew. First off, that sounds painful somehow. And Second, why would I do that? What if you came in these? I don’t want that in me!”

Brett’s brow furrowed in confusion. “I cum in you regularly.”

“Yeah, in my butt. Not the baby-making cavern of weirdness and suffering.”

“Not the most unsexy description of a vagina I've ever heard, but it's up there.”

“I just wanted to warn you that they'll probably be covered in blood soon.”

“Fantastic, I’m so glad.”

\---

“How big is your chest?” Brett asked while they were walking through a store.

Nolan spun around, not sure what he was expecting. He knew what he was hoping not to see, and that was exactly what Brett was doing. He huffed, “We are not buying me a bra!”

Brett stood in front of a display of various lacy bras, each skimpier and more uncomfortable looking than the last. “It might help. You're tired of them hitting you in the chin, right? Bras are meant to keep them in place.”

Nolan pointed at the one on the end. “That one is almost literally strings, how is that supposed to keep anything in place?”

“So don't pick that one.”

Brett wandered further into the lingerie department much to Nolan's behest. He followed along like a duckling anyway. Brett stopped between another rack of still lacy, but more covering bras, and ones that were labeled “sport”.

“How big is your chest?”

“Before or after the boobs?”

Brett turned to raise an eyebrow. “Before, obviously. Do you not know how to size a bra?”

“Why do you?!”

Brett looked at the rack of sport bras, digging through the simplest ones. “I had to help Lori with everything.” He pulled one from the back and held it against Nolan's chest, nodding. He grabbed one of the lacy bras too, handing them both to Nolan. “Go try these on.”

Nolan glared up at him suspiciously and held up the lacy bra. “Why this one?”

“Because I don't know what will feel best with your breast size.”

Nolan saw the little twitch of a smirk on his falsely innocent face. “Bullshit.”

“Alright fine,” Brett relented, smirk firmly attaching itself to his face, “I just want to see you in it.”

Nolan sighed and trudged over to the changing rooms. He sent a pained smile to the girl who unlocked them and closed the door before Brett could come with.

He tried on the sport bra first, thinking it was probably the safer option. It fit...mostly. He saw a lot of cleavage when he looked in the mirror, but it was actually holding the boobs in place. They even flattened them against his chest a bit, so maybe he could give his poor shirts a rest.

Nolan had to psych himself up to try the other one on. He might look like a girl at the moment, but he was not a girl. He had no interest in bras, either on himself or on others. He wanted to do it for Brett though.

It took him a minute to figure out how to put it on; he had never had hooks in his clothes before. He finally got the last one and maneuvered the boobs into position, spinning around to look at himself.

The deep purple lace complimented his pale skin. Light foam covered in flowery lace cupped his breasts, lifting and rounding them out. The wide band at the bottom fit snug against his ribcage. It put just enough pressure on his back that he stood up straighter than normal, pushing his tits out just a little bit more.

Nolan finally understood why women wore these things. There was an odd sort of power that came with it. He felt like he could take on the world.

“Damn!” Nolan exclaimed appreciatively. “This thing makes my tits look good!” He opened the changing room door, waltzing out onto the sales floor. “Hey, Babe, take a look at my tits, don't they look good?”

Nolan looked up from his boobs to see a woman covering her son's eyes as she pushed him down the aisle, glaring at Nolan until they were out of sight. He turned to his snickering boyfriend in question. “What? Did I do something?”

“American society has an interesting relationship with breasts. People use them for sex, nourishment, and advertisements, but in reality, a lot of people are afraid of them, even though over half the population has them.” Brett looked down at Nolan’s chest in delight.

Nolan twisted side to side, showing off. “Do you like it?”

“Fuck, yes. Damn, you look amazing.” Brett tore his eyes away to look Nolan in the face. “Do you like it?”

Nolan peered down at his cleavage. “Y’know,” he said, smirking up at Brett, “I kinda do. Makes me feel powerful.”

Brett grinned. “Would you wear it if I bought it for you?”

Nolan pursed his lips like he was thinking, watching the exuberance slowly drain from Brett’s face. He relented from the torture and said, “Yes, but I’m hiding it somewhere you won’t see it constantly. I don’t want this thing forcing me to be a girl all the time.”

Brett pulled him closer by the hips. He pressed kisses to Nolan’s lips, broken up by the giant smile he was having trouble taming. “I love you. You’re so good to me.”

Nolan let out a bubbling laugh. “I’m pretty sure, my tits are stealing all your money. This shit is like forty bucks.”

“Totally worth it.” Brett pressed their chests together, watching Nolan’s boobs bulge out of the cups. “Your tits are amazing.”

Nolan’s boobs jiggled with his laughter. He pushed Brett away, backing away slowly towards the dressing rooms. “Don’t pop a boner while we’re in the store, I’m not helping you with it.”

Brett’s eyes did a sweep of Nolan’s body. He licked his lips, groaning softly. “Too late.”

\---

Nolan gave Brett one last heated kiss before getting on the bus back to campus. He was just sitting down when the air around him shifted, making his skin tingle. He glanced at the other occupants. No one else seemed phased, so Nolan chalked it up to the air conditioner turning on.

The bus got on the highway and dread filled Nolan’s gut. The air in the seat next to him felt darker somehow. The ugly, geometric pattern blurred in a suspiciously ass-like shape.

Nolan slumped against the window in defeat, staring at the seat in front of him. “It’s you, isn’t it?”

The air stiffened. A soft whisper floated from it, “I'm not your father.”

Nolan's eyes rolled. “You're not my guardian angel either, but you seem to be stealing that role as well.”

Darren drifted into existence. He was hunched in on himself, a sad look on his face. “I was just watching out for you.”

“I am an adult in case you haven't noticed.”

“I know, but I have thousands more years of experience. I just want to know you're doing okay…”

“I'm fine,” Nolan said. He waved his hand dismissively. “You can go now.”

Darren settled into the seat. “So I was thinking-”

“I didn’t realise you could.”

Darren glared at the side of Nolan’s head. “I was thinking that we should have a sit down with Luci. Get your spot in Hell all worked out and everything.” His face eased back into a pleasant smile. “It’d be easier to start it now than wait till you’re dead. The bureaucracy in Hell is ridiculous.

Nolan stared at him incredulously. “Excuse me, what?”

“Your rooms...in Hell. Every human dies at some point. You're already part demon so they'll probably send you through the training program instead of Torturous Reassignment Therapy.”

“Who said I wanted to go to Hell when I die?”

Darren looked confused. Had the possibility that Nolan might want to try for a spot in Heaven not even occur to him? “I just assumed since your mom and I will be there...your boyfriend too…” He watched Nolan’s face with a calculating gaze.

Nolan didn’t have a comeback to that. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with Brett, but did he want to spend the rest of eternity with him; in Hell of all places?

“We can continue this later,” Darren said softly. A light sparked in his eyes as he remembered something. “What happened to the other boyfriend you had? Gabe, was it? I like him better. Where is he these days?”

Nolan didn’t think Darren could make his mood worse, but somehow he always managed it. Nolan hadn’t thought about Gabe in ages. The mere thought of him usually sent him spiraling into a total mental breakdown.

Nolan turned back to the seat ahead of him, gritting out, “He died in the war.”

“Oh.” Darren sounded genuinely sorry that he brought it up. “Did he believe?”

“His family was Catholic, but he stopped going to church when his parents divorced. We didn’t talk about it much.”

“If you want, I could check the database next time I’m in Hell, see if he’s there.”

“Honestly, I’d rather not know.”

Darren tentatively set a hand on Nolan’s arm. For once Nolan didn’t feel like knocking it away. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Nolan used his other arm to wipe away the tear that escaped his eye. “I’d rather just be left alone.”

“Of course.” Darren squeezed Nolan’s arm gently. “If you ever need me just call my name. I’ll come to you no matter what.”

Nolan nodded, staring out the window. Darren patted his arm before finally removing it and fading from view. The air shifted again and Nolan let go, slumping against the window.

He felt numb. Gabe reminded him of all the shit they did. The pain that they put all of the people he now called friends through. Nolan felt terrible for it. There was no way of taking it back, but his mind just kept regurgitating those feelings.

This bus ride was going to be long as shit.

\---

Nolan was still bleeding. It's been four days and he's still bleeding. It wasn't as horrible as the first time, which he was grateful for, but now the universe was testing his patience. Four days of trickling and a dull ache in his hips. Every time he stood a little more dripped out and it was making his skin crawl.

It had been four days since he last had sex and he was getting horny again. He came across a porn clip on social media one night and replayed it several times. It was straight porn too, of a girl getting oral, definitely not his usual M.O., but the memory of Brett’s tongue on him kept Nolan enraptured.

He stuck his hand down his pyjama pants, jerking it back out when he felt the plastic backing of the pad still in his underwear.

He was still bleeding. The universe obviously hated him. No one masturbates while their bleeding, that would be weird. But...he really wanted to. His hand crept back down, playing with the edge of his pants.

Nevermind, blood still freaked him out. It wasn’t worth it.

He shut off his phone and set it on the bed by his pillow.

The room still felt weird. He expected to see Darren asleep in the bed next to him every time he turned. For the first time in ages Nolan wasn't being watched, but he still couldn't sleep. Something about finally being alone made his anxiety spike.

He wished Lily was here. She was always up for a cuddle.

Nolan curled up on his side, back against the wall. He shouldn't have come back so soon.

He felt stupid freaking out like this. He was an adult, he should be able to spend one night alone. Besides, he was one of the things lurking in the dark. He had powers and shit, right? None that he knew how to use, but he could figure it out in an emergency.

His sperm donor was a demon, death shouldn't scare him anymore. All the things he had been taught in Sunday School were real, which meant he was actually going to Hell when he died because he was gay. Shit, he should have listened to his grandma.

What if his grandmother wasn't right either? What if Catholicism was the wrong religion and his whole family would spend eternity in Hell with him? None of them had an in with the devil, so what would happen to them?

Nolan sat up, abandoning sleep. “Darren?” he called out nervously.

Nothing. Nolan tried again, “Dharrenar?”

The air shifted, sending a chill through Nolan's body. He suddenly regretted this.

Darren appeared at the foot of Nolan's bed, clothes rumpled and hair a mess, an expression of panic and excitement on his face. “What? What do you need? What can I help with?”

Nolan pulled his knees up to his chest, covering his face with his hands. “Oh god, you were fucking someone weren’t you?”

“It’s late on a Thursday night, literally every Greek house is having a party. What else would I be doing?”

Nolan groaned. “Nevermind, I didn’t mean to interrupt. Go back to what you were doing.”

“No, no, it’s fine.” Darren sat on the edge of Nolan’s bed, running a hand through his hair. “A child is allowed to interrupt their parent during work if they need to. So, what’s up?”

Nolan crossed his arms over his knees, staring at the bedspread. “No, it’s stupid, just go.”

“No, Darling, it’s fine!” Darren scooted closer, patting Nolan’s foot over the blanket. “Talk to me, I’d love to hear it.”

“I just couldn’t sleep, and then I had questions, and I’m impulsive and it gets me into trouble sometimes.”

Darren smiled. He kicked off his shoes and twirled, sitting cross-legged in front of Nolan. “I may not be a good father, but I can answer questions. Ask away.”

Nolan hesitated. Should he really be asking advice from a demon? He decided to start with an easy question, "If God is real, which religion is the right one?"

"None of them. At least not the current ones. Jesus started the right one and then all the humans went and started adding their own meanings to the shit he said, and now it's all just fucked. Especially the hatred toward gays.” Darkness encompassed Darren as he spoke. “I was working as a shoulder demon at the time Paul wrote that, and I told him, I said, 'You can't just make up words and expect people to understand what you mean. Everybody is going to think you mean gays are evil.' Dumbass angel next to me was all, 'It's fine, everyone knows what the natural order of their body is.' But it wasn't fine, was it, Castiel?!"

Nolan could practically see the steam coming off of Darren. He stared at him wide-eyed. Bad question to start with, apparently.

Darren shook his head, light returning to his eyes. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” A shroud of sadness enveloped him, pulling his entire being down. “It hurt so much watching you beat yourself up over a stupid misunderstanding.”

“Why didn’t you say something?” Nolan hated sounding so small like anything could break him apart.

Darren set a hand on Nolan’s arm. “I wanted to, but you wouldn’t have believed me. I would have been one voice in a sea of hundreds of opposing ones. Why would you listen to a stranger when your own father was telling you to hate yourself?” His face grew into a proud smile. “Besides, you didn’t need me, did you?”

Nolan stared at the hand on his arm, laughing for no reason. “You’re right, I didn’t need you. I don’t need you now either.” He swiveled to face the wall, shoving his legs under the covers by Darren’s butt as he laid down again.

Darren hurriedly jumped off the bed, staring down at Nolan in confusion. “Do you want me to go?”

“Whatever, man,” Nolan said, smooshing his pillow just right so it was comfortable. “Technically this is your room too.”

Darren stood at the side of Nolan’s bed for a moment in silence. “Would you hate me if I kissed you goodnight?”

“Absolutely.”

Darren sighed. “Alright, well...goodnight.” The air shifted again and then the room was filled with silence.

Nolan didn’t care that he hadn’t stayed because his mind was at rest for the first time in a long while and he was not about to waste this chance at a good night’s sleep.


	7. Illness of the Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, friends! I have returned. I'm sorry that this took so long. The beginning got weird and I was fighting my own brain about it. My brain swears there's a reason for all this fuckery though, so hopefully, it holds up it's end of the bargain.

Nolan thought he was safe. It had been an entire week of bloody horror. The bleeding had petered off and he was sure it had stopped. He removed the pad from his underwear only to have his body betray him and let out one last spurt three hours later. He was going to run out of underwear at this rate! He should make Brett buy him more. This was his fault anyway.

Really, he couldn't put all the blame on Brett. It was also the fault of Nolan's stupid fucking demon side, with its overly intense desire to do whatever it can to make Brett happy.

Nolan paused his game and reached for his buzzing phone, frowning at the display. It was his mom. He hit the green button and held it up to his ear.

_ “Hi Honey, how's college life?” _

“It was better before I knew my roommate was also my sperm donor.”

_ “You make it sound so clinical when you say that.” _

“Well, I'd rather not think about you two having sex.”

_ “Good point. Anyway, I was calling to ask when you're coming home for Christmas.” _

Oh shit, Christmas was less than a month away. He had to get presents or something. “I uh…I don't know? My last class is on the fifteenth.”

_ “There's a family reunion that Sunday, you should come. Grandma wants to see you.” _

“I'll try and make it.”

_ “Good. Good…” _

This was the most awkward conversation he had ever had with his mom. There was a moment of silence before Nolan's laptop dinged with a notification. “Oh, I need to go. I'll talk to you later.”

_ “Oh, alright. Goodbye, Honey. I love you.” _

“Bye, Ma.” Nolan hung up, setting the phone down on his desk, and massaged his temples. It shouldn’t be this hard to keep up a conversation with his mom. They used to talk for hours. Why had one change in his life affected that so much?

He didn't even have anywhere he needed to be. The ding was just a reminder to update his operating system.

And now he was no longer interested in his game.

He needed a drink.

\---

The party Gary took Nolan to was less than impressive. The beer was watery, the guys overly aggressive, and the music far too loud. It was 9 PM, why the hell were there so many people drunk already?

Nolan downed the beer in his hand and went in search of something stronger. In the kitchen, he caught sight of an all too familiar head of golden hair. He also spotted a full bottle of vodka and that was more important than a potentially awkward interaction. Maybe he could get it and leave before Darren noticed him.

Nolan crept forward, walking as quietly as possible. He made it to the counter and just as he was reaching for the bottle some giant oaf bumped into him, making him knock the bottle over. It clattered against the counter, gaining attention from the people around them. Nolan was grateful that the cap was firmly on the bottle and he didn't just waste all that precious alcohol.

“Darling!” Darren sang, coming up to him. “What are you doing here?”

Nolan sighed, opening the vodka, and taking a swig. He turned, leaning his hip on the counter. “What does it look like? I'm drinking.”

“That's what I thought.”

Nolan's eyebrow raised. “What about it?”

“Any reason why?”

“Does it matter?”

Darren pursed his lips together, calculating gaze tugging on Nolan’s patience. “No. No, I guess not. Call me if you need help getting back to your room.”

Nolan saluted with his alcohol and watched Darren hesitate and eventually walk away. He rolled his eyes and heaved a breath, wandering back to the lounge area just as a group of rowdy frat boys came in the other doorway. Just what he needed.

Nolan snagged a spot on the end of one couch, watching the frat boys battle each other for the other seats. They may be noisy, but at least some of them were nice to look at. One of them looked like a damn Greek god. Curly dark hair settled around his head like a crown, golden skin stretched over bulging muscles, and chocolate brown eyes that captured Nolan's attention and wouldn't let go.

Greek God was talking animatedly to Norse God about oiling up their ridiculously muscled bodies or something; Nolan wasn't actually paying attention and he was already several shots into the vodka. He also wasn't entirely sure if Norse God actually knew English. The guy had been smiling and nodding this whole time and hadn’t said a word.

Greek God said something that made them both laugh, and then the person on his other side hit him on the shoulder, making Greek God turn. Nolan caught sight of a sizeable bulge in his jeans and suddenly he had a thirst for more than just alcohol. He never did get to masturbate.

Norse God took his damn shirt off for seemingly no fucking reason and Nolan had to physically remove himself from the room before he jumped someone. He was far too drunk for all this sex appeal.

\---

Nolan woke up with a piercing headache. He buried his face in his weirdly hard pillow, groaning and immediately regretting the noise as another stabbing pain shot through his brain.

His pillow moved. Nolan's eyes shot open, searing pain shooting through them as the sun entered his vision. He squinted, taking in his surroundings. Why was he naked in some dude's bed? Fuck, did he cheat on Brett?! He sat up quickly, fighting back the bile in his throat.

“Whoa, there!” Greek God shouted, hand reaching out to keep Nolan from falling off the bed. “Are you okay?”

Nolan was going to throw up. Greek God spun around, pulling a metal bucket from the floor. Nolan barfed into it. Twice. He felt better afterward, but everything still hurt, his now empty stomach making everything only marginally better. Greek God grimaced and put the bucket back on the floor.

Nolan wiped the back of his hand over his mouth. “I- What? How? Why? Did we have sex?”

“Yeah, we-”

“Fuck!” Nolan buried his head in his hands.

“Hey no, chill out!” Nolan winced at the rise in volume and Greek God continued quieter, “Your boyfriend said it was okay.”

Nolan squinted at him in disbelief with air stuck in his lungs. “What?”

“You don’t remember anything, do you?”

Nolan shook his head, wincing at the pain.

Greek God sighed, “Kinda hurts, but it’s understandable since you were  _ super  _ drunk.” He glanced down and then did a double take. “How do you have a dick?”

“It doesn’t matter! What the fuck were you going to say?!”

Greek God forced his eyes away from Nolan’s lap. “I uh...right. You were video chatting with him when you came up to me. He said it was cool.”

“Where’s my phone?”

Greek God leaned toward him, picking the phone up off the table and handing it to Nolan. “Look, he told me you were going to freak out and that you should call him.”

He would, but his phone was dead. That just made all of this worse. “Wait, did I have a vagina last night? Please tell me you wore a condom!”

“Yeah, of course. I'm not an idiot.”

Nolan sighed in relief. “Good. Good...so, I'm gonna...go.” He fumbled off the bed, a movement that stirred the nausea in his belly. “Where're my pants?”

“Oh, uh, over there.” Greek God pointed to the end of the bed where his shirt and pants were laying on the floor. “My name’s John, by the way. I told you last night, but you probably don’t remember.”

Nolan looked around for his underwear, but they were nowhere to be seen; that’s three pairs down since the first change. Fantastic. He yanked on his pants and threw his shirt over his head. He picked his phone up off the bed and paused. “So, uh…bye...?” His eyes drifted up to John’s face. He was fucking hot and Nolan wished he remembered last night.

“I put my number in your phone. Feel free to call me anytime.”

“Yeah...sure.” Nolan nodded awkwardly and spun toward the door, walking away from his very first one night stand.

\---

Nolan heaved a sighed when he opened his dorm room door. He wandered over and sat down on his bed, plugging in his phone.

Darren grinned at him over his laptop. “Have a fun night?”

Nolan curled up on his side. “I don't know.”

Darren's amused expression turned into concern. "Are you okay? You look ill.”

Nolan shielded his eyes against the offending rays of sunlight coming through the window. “Hangover.”

“I’ve seen hangovers, this looks like more than that.” Darren stood from his bed and came over to Nolan, setting a hand on his forehead. “It’s not much, but you are warmer than normal.”

Nolan scoffed, dragging the comforter over his head. “How would you know?”

Darren’s eyes rolled as he retracted his hand. “I’ve spent enough time with humans to know what normal body heat feels like. Now, get some rest and I’ll find you some medication.”

“Doctor’s orders, huh?”

“I do have a medical license.”

“Why…?”

“I enjoy the science. Now sleep, and don't choke on your vomit.”

Nolan saluted. “Yes sir, Mr. Doctor sir.”

Darren chuckled and disappeared from view, leaving Nolan alone with his fever muddled brain.

Nolan started up his phone and called Brett.

_ “Good morning, gorgeous.” _

“I'm sorry…”

_ “What for?” _

Tears gathered in Nolan's eyes. “I got drunk and cheated on you…”

_ “No, you didn’t.” _

Nolan's face scrunched in confusion. “What?”

_ "It's not cheating if your boyfriend encouraged you.” _

“I don't...what?”

_ “Made for a great show too, don’t normally get to see you from that angle." _

Nolan hid under his blanket, which he immediately realised was a silly move since they couldn’t see each other. “I still feel bad. I did the same thing my mom did…”

_ “No, she threatened your dad and followed through with it out of spite. You called me up and told me about how horny you were for the hot guy at that party and I said you should just go ahead and fuck him. Completely different situations.” _

“Just...make sure I don’t do it again, okay?”

Brett’s amusement flowed through the line.  _ “Alright, if that’s what you want.” _

They sat in silence, every second sending Nolan closer and closer to the edge of consciousness.

_ “Your breathing sounds labored, are you doing okay?” _

Nolan pulled the blanket off his head, tucking it under his chin. “Darren says I have a fever. Did you know he’s a doctor?”

_ “I did not. Do you want me to come down there?” _

“I’ll be okay, Darren’s taking care of me.”

_ “And you’re letting him?” _

“Yeah…? Is that a bad thing?”

_ “No, just surprising.” _

“Speaking of awkward family situations. Would you go with me to my family reunion? There’s always food, so it won’t just be weird interactions with my relatives.”

_ “I would love to.” _

“Oh good, you're still alive.” Darren dropped a package of water bottles on the floor next to Nolan's bed. “Luci would definitely laugh at me if both my children aspirated on their own vomit.” He started pulling things out of the bag hanging from his fingertips. “Take two of these, eat some yogurt, make sure to drink enough water, and try not to throw it all up immediately.”

_ “Sounds like he’s got everything covered.” _

“He does seem to, doesn’t he?” Nolan sat up, propping the phone on his shoulder. He accepted the items, setting them on the bed around him.

“I have spent cumulative decades in medical school, I better know what I’m doing.” Darren placed his hands on his hips. “Now, say goodbye to the boyfriend so you can rest.”

Nolan froze with a plastic spoon of yogurt halfway to his mouth, brows raising in surprise.

_ “He’s quite a bossy doctor.” _

“Because I care,” Darren huffed. “Sleep will help the fever, the hangover, and the depression. Trust me, I’m a doctor.”

“But it's so bright out, how am supposed to sleep?”

Darren cocked his hip, staring down at Nolan incredulously. “You forget that I have been watching over you for nearly twenty years, and I know for a fact that daylight helps you sleep.”

Nolan sighed, setting the yogurt cup on his nightstand. “If I have to, I guess.”

_ “I hope you feel better soon.” _

“Thanks. I'll text you the details of the reunion later.”

_ “Love you.” _

“Ditto.” Nolan heard Brett chuckle as the line disconnected. He dropped his phone onto the bed, glancing up at Darren.

Darren looked shocked and a little disgusted. “'Ditto?’ Is this some slang that generation Z made up?”

Nolan broke into a smug smirk. “Yes. It's the new way of telling your bae that you care.”

Darren rolled his eyes, turning to leave. “I will never understand your generation.”

\---

Nolan didn't get sick very often, but when he did it felt like he was dying. His nose ran, his entire head was muffled, his throat felt like someone had taken a power sander to it, and the rest of him ached. This was not how he wanted to spend his first week back as a man.

Nolan curled in on himself, coughing his lungs out, abs straining with the effort. He coughed so hard his brain hurt.

“Are you alright?”

Nolan blinked blearily up at Darren’s worried face. “I’m amazing,” he croaked. “I love the feeling of death in the morning.” Talking sent him into another coughing fit, but it was totally worth it for the annoyed look on Darren’s face.

“You make a lot of jokes about death for someone so afraid to die.”

Nolan just shrugged. It was a defense mechanism he developed in middle school. His therapist hated it, but old habits die hard. He rolled off the bed, standing up on wobbly legs, and went over to his dresser.

“What are you doing?” Darren asked, following him.

Nolan rifled through his drawers, pulling bits of clothing out at random. “I’m gonna take a shower and then I’m going to class.” He grabbed a towel off the rack on the door on his way out of the room.

Darren followed, fancy, leather dress shoes tapping obnoxiously along the tile floor. “Are you sure that is a good idea? You are still contagious. Do you really want to make the entire campus sick?”

Nolan’s brain felt like soup. Everything swam as he staggered down the hallway. “I have midterms all week. Just have to get through them, then I can go home and sleep for a week.”

“Will you pass any of them in your state?”

Nolan shoved the bathroom door open, stumbling inside. “I won't if I don't try.”

“Yes, but you could wait and do the makeup exams and actually have a chance at passing them.”

Nolan spun around in the shower stall alcove to stare incredulously at Darren. “I do what I want.” He turned, yanking the curtain shut behind him.

\---

Nolan had made a mistake. Taking his exams was the easy part. Go in, sit down, and pretend that he understood what was happening; that's what he did every day already. It was the getting to the exams part that he was having trouble with. Every step was a struggle to stay upright. By the time he got to his first class - three blocks from his dorm - he had already sweated through his shirt. It was December, he shouldn’t be hot!

Darren sidled up beside him, sitting in an empty seat near him, casually pulling a devil emoji pencil case out of his satchel.

Nolan sighed, laying his head on the table before him. “Why are you here?”

“I am also taking this class.”

Nolan smushed his nose against the tabletop. “I didn’t know that…”

“I'm not surprised. You are not the most observant.”

“Rude.”

“Truth.” Darren set a pencil next to Nolan’s head. “You forgot your backpack in the room.”

Nolan groaned, covering his head with his arms. “Dammit.” Something touched the back of his neck, making Nolan jolt upright.

“Sorry,” Darren said, hand in the air between them. “Your fever is back.” He leaned down, pulling two bottles from his bag, one of water and one of pills, and held them out to Nolan. Nolan made a face and Darren stared at him unimpressed. “Unless you want your brain to turn to soup? I have heard it is one of the worse ways to die.”

“Fine…”

\---

The last day of midterms Nolan finally felt mostly well. Unfortunately, that was the day he only had one class and it was the easiest of them all. He would have to work extra hard next semester to make up for his inevitably terrible test scores.

He packed up everything he would need for his three weeks of winter break, and climbed on the bus back home.

The air shifted next to Nolan and he sighed, not because he was really put out by Darren's presence, but to keep up the appearance that he was.

Darren phased into existence, smiling sheepishly. “Are you sick of me already?”

“There are a dozen people I would prefer were sitting next to me.”

“But you don’t mind that it's me?” Darren sent him a hopeful grin, weakening Nolan's defenses. “I just want to spend my last few free hours with my darling child. We don't have to speak, just let me sit here, please?”

Nolan said nothing, just relaxed into his stiff bus seat and pulled up a game on his phone. A few more hours with Darren wouldn’t kill him.

Darren smiled, getting himself comfortable. “Do you have any plans for Christmas?”

“I thought we weren’t going to talk.”

Darren shrugged, undeterred by the annoyance in Nolan’s voice. “Just thought I would try in case you were feeling generous.”

Nolan drew out the silence a moment, just to mess with him. “I’m celebrating with family on Christmas and the pack sometime after. Beyond that, it’s just me and my werewolf boyfriend.” He watched in satisfaction as Darren’s lip curled with disgust.

Darren schooled his face, staring intently at the seat in front of him. “I’m glad. It’s good to keep those family ties strong.”

Nolan hesitated, deciding whether or not he wanted to know the answer to the question in his mind. “Are you doing anything? Do you even celebrate Christmas?”

The smile returned to Darren’s face. “I don’t...exactly. I spend the holidays giving people what they want most. Companionship.” A glance at Nolan’s blank expression spurred him on. “Holidays are the best time for a demon in my line of work. They intensify feelings of loneliness to the point where any ounce of contact is enough. And with my good looks and charm, I get the satisfaction of making their lives happier merely with my presence.”

“Both self-centered and humanitarian. I’m weirdly impressed.”

Darren's smile drooped until it looked like he may cry at any moment. “I think that's the first compliment you have ever given me.”

“Wasn't really meant to be a compliment.”

Darren patted Nolan's knee, grin growing back easily. “Thank you, Darling. Anyway, because of this, I won't be around much until after New Years.”

That was not an issue for Nolan. He would be glad to have some time to himself for once.

\---

Nolan and Darren parted ways at the Beacon Hills bus station with Nolan politely declining Darren's hug. He let him sit with him, but that was going too far.

Nolan went to Brett's first, procrastinating the awkward conversation with his mother once again. At some point it had to happen, but it could wait a day or two.

Brett opened the door with a smile that Nolan immediately shot down by saying, “You didn't come visit.”

Brett’s eyebrow rose in confusion. “You told me not to come.”

“I thought you might anyway.” Nolan pouted, avoiding Brett's gaze. He knew he was being silly.

Arms wrapped around Nolan's shoulders, pulling him close. Brett chuckled, pressing a kiss to his head. “I'm sorry I didn't come see you. Next time you tell me not to do something I'll be sure to do it.”

Nolan playfully punched him in the side, snaking his arms around Brett's middle. “I get it, I'm being stupid.”

“If you want me to come you can just say so.”

“I didn't want to seem clingy…”

“Clingy is fine. Makes my wolf happy to know you need me.”

Nolan nuzzled into Brett’s neck, mumbling, “You’re too good to me.”

Brett huffed a laugh. “You make me unbelievably happy, it’s only fair that I do the same for you.”

Nolan would forever be baffled about how he managed to snag such a perfect boyfriend.


	8. Redemption

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. I am so sorry this took so long. I was stuck on whether or not to put in an important part of this story, but I gave up and followed my instincts.

Nolan woke up in his absolute favorite place: Brett's bed. It smelled like him. It was super soft - softer than his standard-issue dorm bed, at least. And it housed his favorite person in the world.

Well...it normally did anyway.

Nolan stared sadly at the empty space beside him. He could hear the shower running, so he knew where he was, but it was kind of disappointing to wake up alone after so long away.

Fuck it, he was going in there.

Nolan crept into the bathroom, shucking what little clothing he had on. He pulled back the curtain to reveal a very unsurprisingly, unsurprised Brett.

Brett grinned, moving over to make room for him. “Good morning.”

“Morning.” Nolan leaned up to peck Brett on the lips. “You didn't wake me.”

“You needed the sleep.”

“I needed to wake up to my hot boyfriend,” Nolan said only slightly accusatory.

Brett pecked him on the cheek and shoved him unceremoniously under the spray. Nolan spluttered and punched him, glaring when he finally made it out. He was sure he looked like a drowned rat and Brett’s giggles were not helping one bit.

“You’re a jerk.”

Brett’s chest shook as he pushed the hair out of Nolan’s face. He tried to tamper down his grin as he said, “You’re so cute like this though.”

Nolan tried to glare harder. “Only animals can be cute when wet, and even that’s pushing the definition.”

“Are you sure? Because you’re looking pretty adorable right now.” Brett grinned, all too happy with his objectionable compliments.

Nolan rolled his eyes, turning away from him. “You suck.”

Hot air puffed against the back of Nolan’s neck, sending a shiver down his spine.

“You’re right. I’m very good at it too.” Brett’s hands slid down Nolan’s sides and around his hips.

Heat pooled in the bottom of Nolan's stomach, spreading outward like he was on fire, every touch sending tingles of electricity through his being. Brett spun him back around, dropping to his knees. He grasped Nolan's cock firmly in his hand and tugged, mouthing at the side like he needed it to survive.

Nolan let out a moan as his cock hardened further. He wobbled and shot a hand out to steady himself, only to have it slip off the wall. His eyes widened in shock as he started to fall, Brett's werewolf reflexes stopping him from hitting his head mere inches from the faucet. Brett chuckled as he lowered Nolan the last little bit onto the bathtub floor.

"Don't laugh at me for stuff that's your fault!"

Brett bowed his head and tried to reign in his laughter, eventually giving up and letting it go. He reached behind Nolan's head to turn the water off, nuzzling Nolan's face on his way by. "I'm sorry. I just didn't realise how dangerous a blowjob could be."

Nolan huffed and leaned back on his hands, slipping once more on the wet tub, Brett catching him around the waist. "Maybe you're right. We should do this elsewhere."

Brett pressed a kiss to his forehead and pulled him into a sitting position. "I wish we could, babe, but we have that thing with your family soon."

"Dammit," Nolan sighed, "why does that have to be today?"

\---

Nolan led Brett into the church basement where the reunion was being held. They immediately got a mixture of looks from the crowd already gathered there. One of the happier faces was that of his mother, who came up and hugged both of them.

"I'm glad you made it!" His mom took the store-bought potato salad from Nolan’s hands. “I’ll put this on the table for you. You two should go socialize, okay?” She waved as she walked back to the kitchen window.

Nolan looked around the room and grimaced. Why did so many of his cousins have kids?

Cindy, a first cousin, wandered over to them with her youngest on a hip. "Nolan, it's good to see you!"

"Hey, Cindy, how's it going?" Nolan tried not to sound pained, but he could practically feel the boobs growing on his chest.

"And who's this handsome devil you brought?"

Nolan saw the way Brett had to drag his eyes away from the baby's smiling face. He forced a groan from his mind. "This is my boyfriend Brett."

"Nice to meet you," Brett said with a genuine smile on his face, melting the ice Nolan had carefully built up around his heart.

The conversation lulled awkwardly until Cindy exclaimed, "Oh right!" She wiggled the hip with her baby on it toward them, saying, "This is Carmen. She's ten months old."

Brett's smile only grew. "Hello, Carmen. Aren't you just the cutest?" He said it in the high baby voice everyone used, the one Nolan normally hated - they were just tiny humans and they couldn't understand you anyway - but for some reason couldn't when Brett did it.

"Do you want to hold her?"

Brett looked worriedly at Nolan.

Nolan sighed, "May as well, I'm resigned to my fate."

Brett threw him an apologetic smile before turning his attention back to the baby and taking her from Cindy. He looked so natural with a baby on his hip.

A burning need simmered deep in Nolan's body and an odd sort of jealousy lingered just below the surface. Jealous of what though? Did he want to  _ be _  the baby or did he want that to be  _ his _  baby?

“Nolan?”

Nolan’s head snapped up to look at Brett. “Huh?”

Brett’s mouth ticked up in an amused smirk. “You were glaring at the Carmen.” He had a hand on Carmen’s head as she hid in his shoulder.

“Sorry, I…” All possible excuses sounded childish when applied to a baby. “Sorry.”

Brett's head leaned down to whisper in Carmen's ear, “See? I told you he wasn't mad. That's just his thinking face.”

They followed Cindy over to the table with her gaggle of family and joined them in watching the stragglers show up.

After a while of entertaining Carmen and Cindy’s other two kids, both early elementary age, Nolan turned and froze square in the face with his grandmother. She was immaculately dressed in her flower-patterned dress and wool coat. With her hair dyed to perfection and makeup on point, she looked little over fifty years old, an impressive feat for someone in her seventies.

“Hello, Dear,” she said sweetly. Her wrinkled face glowed with an odd mix of pride and disappointment.

“Hi, Grandma, how are you?” Nolan inwardly cringed at the nervous air of his voice.

“I am well. And you?”

“I’m alright,” Nolan said, no more confident than before. They had been close before he came out. She was the one who taught him how to read. Why did every interaction with his family have to be balanced on such a thin line?

His grandmother raised a perfectly trimmed eyebrow. “Are you going to introduce me?”

Nolan’s shoulders hunched in defense, all nervousness fading from his voice. “I thought you didn’t want to know who I’m with so you can’t testify to God against me.”

His grandmother reached up and rested a hand on his cheek, the same soft look she had in her eye when he hurt himself as a kid. “My dear grandchild, I am sorry I said those things to you. God has shown me that you are who you are supposed to be. If God can take the church as his bride, you can take a man as yours.”

Nolan fought the tears threatening to spill from his eyes as he embraced his second favorite person in the world. He sniffed, his nose filling with a familiar rosy scent spurring forth great memories that were hidden away in the back of his mind. “I love you, Grandma.”

“I love you too.” His grandmother rubbed his back once more before releasing him and turning toward Brett. “Now, who is this?”

“Grandma, this is my boyfriend, Brett.” He looked at Brett and said, “Brett, this is my grandma.”

Brett smiled at them with a confused look on his face. That was when Nolan realised they had had this entire conversation was in Spanish.

“Sorry!” Nolan spluttered in English this time, “this is my grandma.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Brett finally said, offering the hand not holding up a small child.

His grandmother laughed and pulled Brett down for a hug. He accepted it hesitantly, not used to physical contact coming from anyone other than Nolan or Lori. His grandmother patted them both on the cheek when she let go.

“I’m going to go annoy your mother,” she said with mischief in her eyes, “don’t tell your father.”

Nolan nodded a bit dumbfounded and watched her scamper off to the kitchen. This whole thing had come out at least ten times better than he expected it to. Maybe this Christmas wouldn’t be horrible after all.

\---

Nolan climbed into bed and laid his head on Brett’s chest. Brett's thumb stroked along Nolan's hip, his other hand scrolling through a book on his phone.

Images of Brett and Carmen had popped into Nolan's mind all day, that mysterious need inside him growing more powerful with every instance. He knew what it was. He even knew why it was happening. He just hadn't known how much he wanted it.

Nolan rubbed a finger in swirling patterns on Brett's chest. “We should make a baby.”

The phone hand slowly lowered to the bed. Brett took a deep breath, letting it out as evenly as he could. “Are you saying that because you want a baby or because you want me to have a baby?”

Nolan hesitated with his answer, turning it over in his mind. “I...I want you to have my baby.”

Nolan's head shook with Brett's giggles. “That’s going to be difficult.”

“No, I-” Nolan huffed, ruffling his bangs with his distress. Feelings were harder than they should be. “I want you to do what you did with Carmen, but with...our kid…”

Brett's other arm came around Nolan's waist, squeezing lightly. “I thought we agreed to wait until you were out of college.”

“Technically, we never really talked about the actual having babies part.” Nolan picked his head up, rolling more on top of Brett and setting his chin down on his chest. “Don’t you want a kid of our own?”

“I do,” Brett said, carding his fingers through Nolan’s hair, “but I don’t know how I’m going to take care of a brand new kid while working weird hours at the station.”

“Well, I…” Nolan’s gaze drifted to the framed picture of them on the nightstand. “I would move in with you...take care of it when you’re not here...y’know?”

“What about school?”

Nolan sighed. “I was enjoying college life, but Darren kind of ruined it for me. I’m sure I could finish my degree online and watch a little demon at the same time.”

“I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I'm not sure you know how much of a commitment this is.”

Nolan's eyes narrowed. He pushed himself up to his knees. “Are you implying that I couldn't handle it?”

“Hey, no, that's not what I meant.” Brett sat up against the headboard, ruffling his hair in frustration. “This isn't a decision that can be made lightly. Humans have marriage and divorce and they can do both of them as many times as they want, but once a werewolf makes a baby with someone they're mates for life.”

Brett's fierce gaze bore into Nolan like a knife. He nodded, brain sifting and sorting the new information. A hand clasped his giving it a comforting squeeze.

Brett gave him a small, sad smile. “I just don't want you to be stuck with me.”

An easy grin settled itself onto Nolan's face. “Man, my anxiety would be so fucking happy to be stuck to someone.” He leaned forward, placing a hand on Brett's shoulder for balance. “I would love for that someone to be you.”

Their lips met, pushing against each other like gentle waves from a warm breeze. Brett cupped Nolan’s cheek, the other hand running up his arm. He pulled away and pressed their foreheads together. “You're actually perfect.”

Nolan's face heated up. From the feel of it, he was probably tomato red already. He huffed, trying to make it look like he wasn't silently freaking out because of a compliment. “You’re crazy.”

Brett settled further down into the pillows. “Crazy in love, maybe.”

“Ech,” Nolan groaned, “you sound like a fucking rom-com.”

“Good. Our life together will be played around the world and people will share gifs of us labeled ‘couple goals.’”

Nolan couldn’t help but giggle. “Honestly, you’re so ridiculous.”

Brett just grinned and flipped them, pinning Nolan to the bed and smothering him in kisses, each more gross and slobbery than the last until Nolan couldn’t take it anymore and brought him back up to his lips.

There was a spot in the pit of Nolan’s gut that said this was a bad idea, but the rest of him was too elated by the thought of being with Brett for the rest of their lives that he didn’t care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this fic started weird, but I totally understand if you want to stop reading because of the way this is going.


	9. Christmas With The Devil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long. I would give you excuses but you're all better than that.

Nolan woke up sweaty and disoriented. His heart raced, chest heaving in its quest for a proper breath. It was a nightmare. It had to have been, but all he could remember was the sound of a screaming child and the feeling of sheer unadulterated panic. He sat up, digging the palms of his hands into his eyes. Nightmares weren’t new. After everything, they went through it was inevitable. The intensity of this one, though, that he hadn’t felt in ages.

Brett shifted next to him, rubbing a soothing hand up his thigh. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Nolan lied. He wasn’t. Not remembering was the worst part. He preferred looking his killer in the face, knowing who he was, what he was thinking. Not remembering left him vulnerable. “I’m going to make some tea.”

Nolan climbed out of bed before Brett could protest. Every fiber of his being fought to go back to his protective embrace. There wasn’t even a reason for it. As far as he could tell Brett couldn’t do anything for him, not in the dream or outside of it now.

The click of the stove, a clink of the mug hitting the counter, his own breathing, the noises dug at his nerves, pushing at the back of his mind. The apartment was too loud and too quiet all at once. Something was missing, yet shouldn’t exist. He was forgetting something, not the nightmare itself, but something inside it, something more important than himself. Nolan strained, trying to remember what it was, but to no avail. Whatever it was had disappeared as quickly as it showed up.

A screaming child, that was all he had to go off of. He couldn’t even tell if the kid was in pain or just wanted something. Was it his kid or someone else's? Did it matter? Was this dream a prediction of the future or just a concoction of all of his insecurities? Every question led to another question sending him spiraling down a rabbit hole from which he might never recover.

The noise started again, screaming, shouting, all of it incoherent. Images flashed in front of his vision: a bus, Darren, carnage, so much carnage. Nolan tried to focus, pick out anything that might help determine what was really happening, but it was all too hazy. It all felt so real; felt like if he stepped forward he would be there.

Nolan startled when something touched his arm. The fuzzy image of Darren next to him melted and molded into Brett’s. Nolan shakily let out the breath he was holding. He forced himself to stay upright long enough to turn off the screeching kettle and hobble over to a chair. The world spun around him and he shut his eyes against the assault.

Brett puttered through the kitchen in silence before setting a mug down on the table. He moved to Nolan’s side and pulled him close, pressing Nolan’s ear to his chest. He was the solid wall that Nolan needed; the one that he could ram into at full speed and still come out unscathed.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Nolan shook his head as much as he could without dislodging himself. There wasn’t anything to say. He didn’t know anything and talking about what he did know would only send him further into the chaotic stream of thoughts he was trying to ignore. What he needed was a distraction. Something to clear his mind and fill it with trivial things.

Nolan stood, picking up the mug on his way into the living room. He settled into the couch with remote in hand and a blanket around his shoulders. He might regret ignoring this in the future, but right now he needed stupid sitcoms and the weight of his boyfriend next to him. Whatever this was could wait until morning.

\---

Nolan couldn’t get the dream out of his head. Every squeal and grunt from his fighting cousins and siblings jolted him back into that nightmare realm, a particularly pitiful whine dragging a tear from his eye. He quickly wiped it away, shifting further into the arm of the couch. He usually enjoyed spending time with his family, but right now it felt like a prison.

Brett peered at him from his perch at the counter, obviously sensing Nolan’s discomfort. Nolan shook his head, mouthing “I’m fine” in the most convincing way possible. Brett looked like he was going to stand up until he got pulled back by one of the younger kids. He sent one last look at Nolan, which he returned with a smile, before returning to the cookie decorating process.

Nolan dug his phone out of his pocket, searching anywhere for enough of a distraction to take his mind off the screaming for at least a little bit. He stared blankly at the illuminated screen, eyes taking in nothing but the dry air.

Nolan rose reluctantly, threw on his coat, and wandered out to the porch. The crisp coldness that filled his nose cleared his head enough for the moment. He sat on the steps, watching leaves dance in the breeze. The quiet was peaceful.

“Not enjoying the festivities?”

Nolan jumped away from the noise, heart racing a mile a minute as he turned to glare at Darren in earnest. “Fuckin’ warn a guy!”

“Sorry,” Darren muttered, expression of actual remorse on his face. “I thought you could sense me coming.”

“I was kind of distracted,” Nolan huffed, tugging his coat tighter around his body. Figures Darren would come to make his day more difficult.

“Are you alright? You seem more jumpy than usual.” Darren’s hand drifted up and Nolan smacked it away before it touched his forehead.

“I’m fine, just didn’t sleep well.”

“Dear child of mine,” Darren crooned, gently pulling Nolan toward him by the shoulder, “rest your head against my bosom. I shall protect you from the atrocities of this world as you sleep.”

Darren’s wrist bent backward as Nolan shoved it off of him. Darren winced and massaged it, looking as pitiful as he could.

“Why are you here, Darren? I thought you were gone for the holiday.”

“I came to check in. No sense having teleportation skills without using them for the good of my child, right?”

Nolan rolled his eyes, stuffing his hands in his coat pockets. He should have brought gloves. “Don't you have a phone? Just shoot me a text next time.”

“Texts are so impersonal! How would I know if you're telling me the truth if I can't see the death glare in your eyes?” Darren batted his eyelashes, curling his fingers into a heart. Everything he did was disgusting and cheesy and Nolan hated it.

“Maybe that's the reason? I don't want to talk about it.”

“Ah…” Darren trailed off, finally giving up on getting Nolan to look at him. “If you ever want to talk about it, I'm here.”

“I know, you've said that before.”

“Just wanted to reiterate in case you forgot.”

Nolan sighed, too exhausted to even begin working out what he would even say. He let the conversation end there and set his chin on bent knees. The wind had died down a bit.

Darren sat with him until someone came to get Nolan for dinner. Being a solid presence in the face of the unknown was probably the best thing he could have done.

Nolan returned to the festivities feeling more empty than when he left. Whether that was a good thing was still up for debate.

\---

Brett had watched Nolan throughout the day, looking for anything that could help him figure out what was happening in his head. Nothing helped. Nolan's mind was surrounded by a cinderblock wall and no amount of chiseling could get Brett inside. All he could do was wait and be there when Nolan finally opened up.

Brett brought a mug of hot chocolate over to Nolan. He had to unwedge himself from the corner in order to take it, but he smiled genuinely about it. Brett settled in next to him, throwing an arm around him as they took in whatever terrible Christmas movie Maisie had picked out played on the television.

It was peaceful. Almost too peaceful sometimes. Brett was not nearly as paranoid as Nolan was, but the number of near-death experiences he had encountered would make anyone keep an eye out. He was just glad that he wasn’t the only one with this little problem.

He wanted this. Not the looking over his shoulder constantly, but the family. He loved this feeling of security and comfort that came from just being near the people he loved. Selfishly, he wanted more. He had a selfish need to surround himself with as many family members as he could get.

Nolan curled in on himself, stomach gurgling. His face scrunched in discomfort and he leapt up from the couch, heading down the hallway to the bathroom.

\---

Nolan’s insides clamped together as he dashed for the toilet. He teetered as he walked, every movement sending a sharp pain through his guts. It felt like period cramps, but that made no sense. He didn't have a vagina right now.

He locked the bathroom door behind him and hoped to God that the walls were thick enough to muffle his groans. What would his siblings think if they heard? At least Brett wasn't in here with him.

“Nolan?” Of course, Brett couldn’t just leave him to die in peace. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Stupid, loving boyfriend had to care about everything that happened to Nolan, didn’t he? Damn him. Damn him to Hell. Damn him to Hell where they can spend eternity together in Nolan’s personal sex dungeon. Wait.

“I’m fine,” Nolan shouted, grimacing at the strain in his voice. That didn’t sound good to human ears, what did it sound like to ultra sensitive ones?

“You could just open the door, like an adult, so we don’t have to yell through the door like we always do.”

“But it’s more fun this way!” An audible sigh drifted through a crack in the door. “Alright, fine.” Nolan twisted the knob, the door swinging open with the weight of Brett’s hand against it.

Brett scanned Nolan’s body, searching for anything that might help him figure out this sudden illness. “What’s up?”

“I don’t know, Mr. Nosy, what’s up with- AUGH FUCK!” Nolan collapsed to the floor, the pain in his knees only a fraction of what he was feeling.

Nolan’s guts were reorienting themselves, that much he knew. Each contraction of his muscles sent a pain shooting from his hips through all his limbs. It got so bad he could feel it in the tips of his fingers. Everything in him screamed to make it stop.

Brett’s careful touches seared Nolan’s skin. Nolan cried out in pain as his genitals retracted themselves back into his body, making him wonder if cutting them off would make it better. An invisible knife cut open his taint and suddenly Nolan regretted that idea.

His organs finally slotted themselves into place and with a few final whimpers, the pain subsided. Mostly. He could still feel it lingering on the surface, waiting until the next time he needed to remove his genitalia. He refused. He would never go through that again, even if he had to cut certain parts of himself off.

“I _hate_ you,” Nolan whispered, voice barely registering to his own ears. “I hate you so much.”

“What?” an entirely too effeminate voice asked. “What the fuck was that?!”

Nolan finally opened his eyes, looking up to see his whole family standing in the doorway. God, this was embarrassing.

Brett scooted closer, afraid to touch in case something happened again. “Are you okay? What just happened?”

“What do you think?!” Rage overtook Nolan and he kicked Brett in the shin. He was so clueless sometimes. What else would it fucking be?!

And he could feel Darren loitering behind him. Wouldn’t that be just great? Hey family, I’m a half demon because mom can’t keep it in her pants. Oh and also I’m a chick now because fuck the universe!

How the hell was he supposed to live this one down?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not a long chapter, but I promise to get the next one out sooner than this one. Again, I am sorry.


	10. Clarity for the Opposition

Nolan couldn’t catch a break. His family was still staring at him and he had yet to get off the disgusting bathroom floor. He knew for a fact that at least one of his baby cousins had peed on this floor, he could smell it, and that was only bringing back memories of that terrible nightmare.

“Are you okay, Honey?” his mother asked. The genuine concern in her voice only made all of this worse. She was still his mom, no matter how much her presence made him want to wretch.

“I’m fine,” Nolan grunted, swaying a bit as he attempted rising to his feet. Brett’s arm shot out to steady him as he wobbled, painting a beautiful picture of a damsel in distress for the audience at the door. He glared at them, snarling, “What are you all looking at?!”

The young ones had the sense to scatter, knowing full well what one of Nolan’s rage fits could entail. The adults, however, did not run. They just stood silently, watching him.

His grandmother gave his mom a look like she was two seconds away from throttling someone, and honestly, Nolan would let her. Instead, her attention returned to Nolan. She stepped through the door, taking his arm with gentle fingers as she led him to his room. “Come, child, you need rest.”

Lying down relaxed his muscles, but did nothing for his head. His grandmother sat by his hip and ran her fingers through his hair, making him feel like a child. He would be lying if he said he hated it.

Brett followed them in, his presence only indicated by the quiet creaking of Nolan’s desk chair. Nolan knew this wasn’t his fault, but that evil little part of his mind kept screaming hatred in his direction and he couldn’t help the fact that he listened. It would die down and get over it eventually...he hoped.

\---

Brett liked to pride himself on his calm nature, even in the toughest of situations. But this...Nolan’s ability to make Brett lose his shit was both impressive and terrifying. Bleeding, poisoned, and running from hunters he still wasn’t as scared as he was watching Nolan writhe on the bathroom tiles.

Scared didn’t even scratch the surface when Nolan said those words:  _ “I  _ hate  _ you.”  _ An innocent sentiment on any other occasion, but Brett couldn’t help but think he really meant it this time. It was him doing all this to Nolan, it was only right.

Brett didn’t sleep, couldn’t bear the thought of finding Nolan gone in the morning. He wanted to blame it on his wolf side, say it claimed Nolan as his mate and wouldn’t let go, but that wasn't true. His human side needed Nolan too, life without him would be unendurable.

Without a clue as to what he should do, Brett started to research. He scoured the internet for anything about cambions or demons or anything else he could think of that might help. Nothing. No one knew a thing about what Nolan was. No one on the web believed he could actually exist.

In sleep, Nolan looked mostly at peace. His face relaxed from the grimace it held all day. It was almost enough to stop the fire of anxiety in Brett’s mind. Was this how Nolan felt all the time? That had to massively suck. How did he function with such a heavy weight on his chest?

Sunshine peeked over the window sill, casting the room in a bittersweet, golden light. A feeling of dread and fear imploded just inside Brett's chest, leaving an emptiness he had never experienced before. Nolan's body burrowed deeper under the blankets, perfectly content to miss the festivities.

Each one of Nolan’s movements sparked a tiny glimpse of hope in Brett’s mind. He just needed the assurance that Nolan would forgive him eventually. With that small tidbit, he could go back to gnawing his face off with affection.

Nolan’s eyes blinked open, wincing against the onslaught of brightness coming through the window. A low groan echoed through the room, shattering the veil of silence that had kneaded at Brett’s nerves all night. Nolan leaned up on an elbow, eyes still struggling to focus. His gaze finally landed on Brett, eyelids twitching as he stared unsurprised by Brett’s presence. They watched each other in silence, Brett too afraid to speak and Nolan merely unwilling to do so.

Brett’s attention snapped to the door a moment before it opened. Nolan’s grandmother strolled in like she owned the place, her small body carrying an air of importance even among her family.

“Good morning, dears,” his grandmother said. “Breakfast is ready whenever you are.”

Nolan shot out of bed and down the stairs without a word, leaving the other two to shrug at each other in confusion.

\---

Nolan was starving. He hadn’t felt such hunger in ages. Every fiber of his being cried out in search of nutrients. Nothing could come in between him and his next meal.  It was only when he was scarfing down the second pancake that he realised just how strangely everyone was looking at him.

“What?” Nolan asked, a wad of sticky-sweet goodness shoved in his cheek slurring the word.

“We’re just surprised,” his mother said, “didn’t think you’d be ready to face the world so soon.”

Brett’s hand found Nolan’s knee even before Nolan remembered what happened last night. Nolan glanced down to his chest to check for any boobage protruding beyond his bulky sweater before shrugging everything off like nothing was wrong. “I’m fine,” Nolan said, “really.”

“We were just worried,” she said. “You caused quite a ruckus last night.”

“Yeah, well, I’m good now, so can we just drop it?”

Everyone glanced at each other like they needed approval, but no one knew from who. Eyebrows twitched, lips curled, and then his grandma, literal Godsend and apparent high judge of the Holloway household, said, “As long as you're alright,” and suddenly the tethers binding their gazes were released back to their plates. The tension remained though, swallowing up any possible conversation that could lighten the mood, making this the second most awkward breakfast, right behind the morning that Nolan officially came out of the closet.

\---

That afternoon was a clusterfuck of emotions and avoiding the problem. Everything Nolan did was scrutinized and observed for any sign of distress. He couldn't stand it. This had to be the first time he had ever wished for a tragedy to happen to someone else.

Brett was the worst. Always right there, watching. Every movement, every sigh, every twitch of muscle was noticed and jotted down for later. The anxiety that came with that idea was too massive to ignore. What gave him the right to scare him like that?

“You,” Brett mumbled, gaze fully drifting away from Nolan for the first time today. “It scares you to know someone cares and you gave me the right by dating me.”

Nolan couldn't think of anything to say. He couldn't believe he had said anything in the first place. How much had he said exactly?

Brett stood from the couch, stretching impossibly long limbs in front of faded white curtains like the Old Navy model he should have become. Everything about him was better than Nolan could ever be, from his perfect looks to the selfless desire to create and raise the next generation of people. Brett was so perfect that sometimes it made Nolan sick.

“I'm going to the bathroom,” Brett said as if that weren't obvious from the direction he started walking. “Don't freak out while I'm away.”

“Got it,” Nolan said, saluting at his back. “Freak out while you're away. Can do, sir!” Brett's muffled laughter alleviated some of the mind-fucking stress currently jabbing a spike into Nolan's brain. Fucker wanted to make babies with him, why would he walk away because of some stupid shit like saying “I hate you”? Brett had stayed with him this long, they could make it longer.

\---

Once everyone was thoroughly tired of Christmas, Brett and Nolan made their escape. It was a ten-minute drive to Brett's apartment on the other side of town and Brett felt every second of it. The awkward silence drilled into his brain like the shrill of a shitty vacuum.

Brett knew that Nolan would never be the one to start a confrontation, not even one that could fix an awkward situation. Nolan would rather sit and dwell on the miscommunication than say anything and potentially make everything worse. Brett understood that he didn't particularly enjoy doing it either, but whenever a problem like this arose it was up to Brett to take care of it. Unfortunately, that meant bringing up what was now the worst moment in his life.

The quiet continued as they walked up the stairs, dragging bags of gifts behind them. Only when they had made it inside the apartment did Nolan pipe up.

“We should have brought Lily back with us.”

Brett couldn't see his face, only the twitch of his jaw and stiffness in his shoulders. It sounded like Nolan still wanted to move in then, that was a step in the right direction. “Okay.”

Nolan breathed out more heavily than usual. He charged ahead into the bedroom, practically throwing the gift bags onto the floor by the bed. His demeanor shifted dramatically into an excited child, bottling up all of the awkwardness and settling it right between his shoulder blades like he always did.

“Or should we find a bigger place first?” Nolan asked, stepping halfway back into the living room. “Would it be more or less of a shock to get you all used to each other before moving into a home that smells like a complete stranger?”

Brett couldn't help the breathy chuckle. Anyone else comparing him to a dog would get the stink-eye, but Brett had enough trouble keeping the completely besotted expression off his face.

“What?” Nolan scoffed. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“It’s nothing. I’m just relieved.”

“Relieved?” Nolan asked, confused. “Why would you..? Oh.” He looked Brett in the eyes for a split second before drifting off to the ceiling. His mouth opened, throat struggling to make the noises he wanted. “...Sorry.”

The air had turned weird and Nolan’s stiff body was now hard as a rock. Brett seized the opportunity to step closer, arms coming up to wrap around him.

“It’s okay,” Brett said, “I’m just glad you’re still here.”

Nolan chuckled, tucking his face into Brett's shoulder. "I was going to say the same thing."


	11. Making Babies and Other Horrific Thoughts

Brett and Nolan had made up once again, an event that happened far too often for Nolan’s liking. Brett truly had to be some sort of saint to put up with his bullshit. And Nolan had to be at least partially insane to be considering actually harboring a baby inside himself.

Nolan couldn’t get the thought out of his mind. Every time he saw a family on TV or just looked at Brett’s stupid, beautiful face it popped back into his head. He wanted it and didn’t want it all at the same time. The security he would feel if Brett was stuck with him clashed with the anxiety of forcing Brett to stay with him. Brett wanted this though. If he didn’t, Nolan would kill him for making him a girl.

Nolan was on the couch, in an empty apartment, idly playing with himself - as one did when they found themselves with different genitalia - when Brett returned home. Brett’s wide eyes and soft chuckle should have clued him into how unusual it was to find a naked man-woman in their home.

Nolan still couldn’t quite wrap his head around it. The whole body switching thing was more intricately woven into the fabric of madness holding his very being together than he was willing to unravel. How  _ did  _ the physiological change occur? Why did it only just now happen while he was awake? Did it have some sort of timer and would they run out of chances? He may never know the answers to these questions.

Brett dropped down onto the other end of the loveseat. His hair was wet and he was wearing sweatpants, which probably meant he took a shower. How long had Nolan been spaced out?

Brett snatched up the remote and changed the channel, completely ignoring Nolan touching himself somehow. Nolan pulled his hand away from his crotch, sucking sticky digits into his mouth. Brett didn’t even look.

“You’re allowed to look, y’know,” Nolan said, more than a little confused.

“I just saw the remains of a crispy-fried cat,” Brett said, grimacing at the reminder, “forgive me if my libido is a little low.”

“Ah.” Nolan wanted to change the subject, but he hadn’t really  _ done  _ anything all day. “I was hoping that exploring these new mechanics would make the whole being-a-girl thing less terrible.”

“Did it help?”

“Not really,” Nolan sighed, curling in on himself. “I discovered that the clitoris is basically a tiny penis and that helped for a little bit. It doesn’t ejaculate though, which is kind of annoying.” Brett burst out laughing. “What? It hurts if it gets too dry, but I have to go deeper to slick up my fingers, and that is just horrible on so many levels.” Brett stretched out an arm, letting Nolan fold into him. “I bet this is how transgender people feel, huh? Just wrong in every way? It sucks.”

“Sorry,” Brett mumbled.

“Nah, it’s my own fault, apparently. My body is too hell-bent on giving you all of your deepest desires. If you’re down with putting up with my whiny ass, then I’ll put up with this shit for...ugh, nine fucking months.”

“When you put it that way I’m hesitant to say yes.”

“Good, you should be. That’s what any good baby-daddy would say, but that’s not what I need right now.”  Nolan pushed himself up enough to look Brett in the eyes. “So, do you want a baby or not?”

Brett’s eyes shook, shining with a spark of hope as he imagined the possibilities. “I do want a baby.”

Nolan gave a very masculine grunt in response and flopped back into Brett’s side. “Cool, well, we’ll have to start that process sometime then.”

“Yeah, I guess we will.”

Nolan was so fucked.

\---

The sex wasn’t that bad. That was the thing that Nolan hated the most. Even though it was the wrong hole, it still felt good and he hated that he liked it so much. This was the same man. It was the same loving embrace. But it was a whole different experience.

Brett moaned as he came, and holy shit was that a weird feeling. It wasn’t anything new for Brett to come inside him, but the sticky, warm, goo now just lingering in  _ that _ part of him was just uncomfortable.

Brett rolled off to the side and Nolan took the opportunity to curl around his pillow. The breathing behind him slowed and then something was touching him. Nolan jerked away, too sensitive to everything right now.

“You okay?” Brett asked.

Nolan didn’t know whether to apologize for not being able to cope, or to just outright refuse here and now and go wash up before whatever fucking magic makes a fetus inside him happens.

“Fuck.” Brett jumped up and tried to drag Nolan up with him. “Come on.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re obviously uncomfortable with this.” Brett pulled on Nolan’s arm. “There are drugs that can stop it, but we have to go soon.”

Nolan stared into the distance, a spiteful determination building up inside him. “No.”

“What do you mean, no? You don’t want this.”

“I know what I want,  _ Brett _ ,” Nolan said, yanking his arm away, “and I  _ want _ to be left  _ alone _ .”

Brett scrubbed a hand over his face and stared at Nolan, caught between being excessively frustrated and completely lost. “Fine.” He walked out then, without another word, or glance, or tiny noise of complaint.

Nolan had never felt so small.

\---

The gooey feeling dissipated eventually, but the wrongness remained in full-force. He stayed there, curled up on the bed for over an hour, just staring into space.

Brett never came back. He was still in the apartment, - Nolan could here the notification dings coming from his phone - but he hadn't bothered to come in to check on him.

Nolan couldn't even blame Brett. He forced him away like always.

Nolan sat up slowly, gathering the strength to refrain from scrubbing out his insides. His intestines moved around, rumbling angrily. Maybe he should have had more than a bowl of cereal for lunch.

A second later Brett walked past the open door. The fridge opened and closed, and Brett chucked a cheese stick onto the bed. He disappeared once again, the sound of cabinets thunking closed soon following.

“Thank you,” Nolan mumbled. At least Brett was still willing to cook for him.

\---

It felt like there was something crawling inside him. Nolan could barely sit still because there was a bug or something inside his vagina and he did not like it. He shifted around for the 600th time in the past hour, pointedly ignoring the weird look Brett shot him.

Nolan knew for a fact that there were no bugs inside of him. He would have noticed if one tried to get up there. So, that left him with the only obvious explanation: Aliens. Or sperm, whatever, same thing, right? Did women normally feel the sperm swimming inside them or was his vagina just overly sensitive because he wasn’t supposed to have one? Would he ever ask a mother? No. Never. He would be mortified.

The record long, five-hour silence was finally broken by Brett asking, “Are you okay?”

Nolan huffed, eyes rolling up to the ceiling. “I would be better if there weren’t tiny dick fish swimming through the cavern of suffering.” Brett's nose scrunched, lips pursing tight, but his efforts were to no avail and the laughter sprung out in the end. “Don’t laugh at me, you bitch.”

“Sorry, I-” Brett's giggles got the better of him once again. “I'm just picturing little dicks in the sea.”

Brett set a hand on Nolan’s thigh, and a  soothing warmth spread through Nolan’s body, though it did nothing to quell the incessant wiggling inside him. This bullshit was only the beginning too. Morning sickness, bloating, aches and pains, all endured for the sake of some needy little shit living in his comfy, fleshy bubble. Nolan tried to be as selfless as possible, but his own body was the one thing he let himself withhold and now this fucking thing was taking that too.

\---

The next day would have been the beginning of the latest bloodfest. The whole day passed with Nolan sitting on the edge of his seat, waiting for the horror show to start. But then it never came.

He looked up how long it would take to know. “Fertilization can occur as soon as a few minutes after sex,” said the internet, “but Implantation can take up to fifteen days.” Though, he still had no idea how that translated to magical demon uteruses. It also told him that it would take “two to four _weeks_ to actually _feel_ _pregnant_ ,” which in itself was a terrifying sentiment.

Nolan decided he was done with what was most definitely the most frightening research ever, and finally left the safety of his blanket pile. He fumbled through the apartment, turning lights off as he headed to the bedroom, and jumped into bed next to Brett, who barely acknowledged his presence.

With Brett's sperm literally worming their way inside of him, it was nearly impossible for Nolan to fall asleep. He just kept thinking about all of the sufferings he would go through just to pop out a creature that he may or may not want.

\---

Brett's heart hurt watching Nolan slug around. There wasn’t much he could do for Nolan besides tell him how much he loved him, but even that earned him a glare and a few coarse words.

If Brett could take it back, he would. He bought the drugs and set them out in the open, but Nolan refused to take them. It made him wonder if Nolan enjoyed being miserable. Either Nolan wanted this baby despite his own misery, or he was waiting until Brett was completely invested in their relationship before he ducked out. Whichever it was, he feared for both of their sanity.

Brett tiptoed around his own home, just waiting for anything he did or didn't do to set Nolan off. It was like walking through a minefield, watching out for Nolan to take his legs, or more specifically his dick. Brett wouldn’t even put that thought past Nolan. Werewolves might be able to grow back a limb, but he was not willing to put that much on the line for science.

Nolan was on the couch once again, watching some terrible teen drama, with his knees curled up to his chest like he had to protect himself from something. Brett sat down beside him, staring blankly at the screen.

A moment passed and then Brett said, “We should go get Lily.” Nolan didn’t react. He was too invested in the melodrama. Brett waited for a commercial break and said again, “We should go get Lily.”

“Now?” Nolan asked, eyes fixed to a diaper ad.

“Yeah, now. We can go get dinner too.”

Nolan rose slowly, moving stiffly like that wasn’t his body. “Sure.”

\---

Lily brought a tiny bit of ease to Nolan’s demeanor. She stalked through Brett’s apartment like she owned the place, and practically did where Nolan was concerned. It wouldn’t irritate him so much if she wasn’t a tiny, golden ball of  _ fluff. _ Only the sight of Nolan’s relaxed shoulders kept Brett from throwing the damn thing out on its ass.

On day four, Nolan finally deemed himself able to go out again. Apparently. Brett came home from work expecting a full house and instead he was met by The Fluff. She barked at him too. Is that what dogs did to humans, just bark at them until they get what they want? They couldn’t even understand, so honestly, that was just rude.

Brett almost just left the door open for her, but then he remembered her lack of hands and the number of doors between them and the grass outside. He rolled his eyes with far more insolence than was truly warranted, since she was an old, pampered, absolutely  _ spoiled dog _ , and stalked off in the direction of the elevator.

“I’m gonna build stairs,” Brett muttered partially to Lily, but mostly to himself. “Then you can learn to use the toilet like the rest of us.”

Lily snorted like she doubted his abilities and it just solidified his need to make it happen. She would learn soon enough that  _he_ was alpha of this household.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading~!


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